Price - 50 cents
Thursday, Sep 29, 2016
  • in Torn City
  • An Illustrated Weekly Newspaper
  • Edited & Published in Torn City
  • An Illustrate

Elimination - The Finale

Report by sugarvalves on 26/09/16 (2 days ago)

So the 2016 Elimination Competition is over, with Mountain Men emerging as winners after a conclusion which felt more anticlimactic than the ending to No Man's Sky combined with a sexless wedding night.

Yet for all the lack of drama during Elimination's final weekend, the days running up to it proved as enthralling as anything we've seen in Torn before. Mountain Men started the week with an impressive tally of 61.1 hits per person, and such heavy activity drew the att...

Continues on page 6

Elimination - The Story So Far

Report by sugarvalves on 19/09/16 (9 days ago)

Earlier today Torn saw the dramatic last-minute ejection of Short Bus from the Elimination competition, securing their position as the 8th placed team after a tempestuous final half hour.

With thirty minutes left before the deadline it seemed a straight fight between 'Murica on 0, Short Bus on 0 and the Original Gangsters with 2 points, as the 3rd from bottom OG's were a massive 156 points behind 5th Continues on page 5

Fat Cats and Fat Stacks - Part Two

Report by sugarvalves on 14/09/16 (14 days ago)

Having had little contact with Torn's company bigwigs before now, this investigation and subsequent article were prompted by a message from an anonymous source; an employee of a local law firm whose director was struggling to get by. He had been placed in temporary charge of the company and discovered to his chagrin that many of Torn's major players were making constant attempts to poach his staff. 

One particular worker, who shall also remain anonymous, was offe...

Continues on page 3

Fat Cats and Fat Stacks - Part One

Report by sugarvalves on 05/09/16 (23 days ago)

From sexperts to sales assistants, stylists to strippers; the registered companies of Torn employ over twenty thousand people throughout the city. Yet for all the responsibility which comes with directorship, it seems almost any old schmuck can set up shop here. Most companies fail to turn so much as a single dollar of profit, so those that do are clearly operating in a unique manner to the rest. Becoming a successful director requires a specific set of attributes and ski...

Continues on page 2

Faction Beta - The little guy

Report by IIIlusionist on 01/09/16 (27 days ago)

In the final article of our trilogy regarding the Faction Wars 2.0 Beta, we'll move on from talk of stat monsters, money, and energy in order to focus on what the new system means for the little guys. After reading our previous article, smaller factions might be trembling in their boots, so let's see what lies in store for them when the update comes.

Once the dust settles following the initial release, it is highly probable those factions looking to avoid wa...

Continues on page 31

T.C.S.E 30 Prices
11,204.35 142.95
Weekly bazaars
  • TC Personals Have you met Naughty_Phantom?19 brit student on my 1st
    year of uni. Looking for
    a long term
    spouse, mainly for the
    in-game benefits but to
    make friend out of
    it too. I'm on daily
    I would like a spouse who
    was too. He's put his profile up on our personals section! Would you date him?
  • Bounty section Hospitalize Needles and earn a $3,000,000 reward! Head over to the bounties section for more information!
  • Comics Why not have a look at our comics? Just head over to page 42!
  • Lottery DaveR0x won $1,833,300 on Daily Dime 19 hours ago!
    DezyDeStruktion won $4,848,000,000 on Holy Grail 18 days ago!
    miro won $4,352,550,000 on Lucky Shot 2 days ago!
    Go to the casino to buy your tickets for the next draw!
  • kathycat [1985092]

    Hiring for my 9 Fitness Center! Great Specials. Free trains are given on a rotation. Employees will also receive a complimentary xanax for each week you stay with the company. Preferred stats are a minimum of 30k in any one stat. Apply today!

  • Dos-Equis-XX [500173]

    Forged Through War -Recruiting- Chaining is an absolute must! Daily active! Train hard! Not a scammer or beggar! Have fun! Loyalty! Have what it takes? We want you! Apply today! -Minimum 250 million total stats- In rare cases exceptions can be made. FTW!

  • Paimon [1634194]

    dropped all PIs prices in Market PI 4225 3700 2700 2600 , go and check them quick

  • SnowDragon [1662235]

    Snow Dragon Software Inc Hiring Apply Now..