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Sunday, Dec 11, 2016
  • in Torn City
  • An Illustrated Weekly Newspaper
  • Edited & Published in Torn City
  • An Illustrate

New Salt Mine Discovered in Torn

Report by sugarvalves on 05/12/16 (5 days ago)

On the 30th of November the announcement was made that former committee member Midknight would be freed on January 29th 2017, after the serving of a 60-day sentence not taking into account time served.

His spell in Federal Jail came as the result of what can only be described as one of the stupidest crimes ever committed, in Torn or elsewhere, as this highly visible citizen attempted to sell a confidential mask item for pe...

Continues on page 16

Kniv Storms To Second Dog Tag Title

Report by sugarvalves on 29/11/16 (11 days ago)

On Friday the 2016 edition of the Torn City Dog Tag competition ended with a second straight victory for Kniv, who not only retained his title but also managed to acquire an astonishing 1287 tags and 22806 points in the process. In fact, so high were everyone's scores this year that Kniv's winning total from 2015 would only have been good enough for 4th this time around, making his margin of victory even more impressive.

I congrat...

Continues on page 15

Dog Tag Comp Rocked By Duke Beef

Report by sugarvalves on 21/11/16 (19 days ago)

As 2016's Dog Tag competition rapidly draws to a close, the current leader sits on 20,130 points with 1,052 tags, holding a lead of 4670 points over their nearest challenger on 15,460. 14,000 points are good enough for 3rd place at the moment, and 6,192 points will sneak you into the top 25, but whether this will be enough come Friday 2pm is difficult to say.

Especially since Duke's latest tantrum.

Everything seemed ...

Continues on page 14

Dog Tag Strategy - An Expert Guide

Report by sugarvalves on 14/11/16 (26 days ago)

The 2016 Dog Tag competition has well and truly kicked off this week with the leading collector now soaring into a lead of nearly 2,000 points. As of 4pm today 13,450 was the target for those aiming for top spot, with 2nd place on 11,907 and 3rd on 9,519. Those who are placed 4th to 10th are separated by a margin of just 3,000 points, and last week's 2nd placed Duke is curr...

Continues on page 13

Is Dog Tags 2016 Over Already?

Report by sugarvalves on 07/11/16 (1 month ago)

The 5th of November saw Torn's annual Dog Tag competition kick off with a bang, albeit one which was apparently not loud enough to alert many of the city's drug-addled laggards, many of whom only became aware of the competition once their own tags were snatched from their necks. Although truth be told, the competition actually surprised everyone, with even the city's drunken leadership baffled by the sudden onset of jewellery-based carnage.  ...

Continues on page 12

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