Price - 50 cents
Monday, Aug 21, 2017
  • in Torn City
  • An Illustrated Weekly Newspaper
  • Edited & Published in Torn City
  • An Illustrate

Tornography: L4suicide

Report by sugarvalves on 14/08/17 (6 days ago)

When I first contacted L4suicide about compiling his Tornography, he responded by saying he wasn't interesting enough. I wholeheartedly disagree. The man whose history and thoughts we are about to hear has been here since the very beginning, having arrived in Torn City 4560 days ago on February 18th, 2005 - it was a Friday.

Continues on page 9

Torn's Own Housing Crisis

Report by bogie on 10/08/17 (10 days ago)

For years now most of Torn's elite have been living in exclusive private islands, but are we reaching a point of stagnation? How many more islands can this city support, and what of those who want something better?

Continues on page 6

Are You Torn's Ugliest B*stard?

Report by sugarvalves on 07/08/17 (13 days ago)

For those of us not in possession of beauty, breasts or a secret cache of military equipment, winning the Mr and Ms Torn Competition is nothing but a pipe dream. Without some voting anomaly or a series of fortuitous bear attacks upon every other entrant, most of us cannot ever hope to know what it feels like to place in the top ten of a beauty competition, let alone wear the crown of victory upon our distinctly average heads.

Continues on page 8

Mr and Ms Torn Winners Interviewed

Report by sugarvalves on 01/08/17 (19 days ago)

Kamical and Lucensa are your official Mr and Ms Torn 2017, bringing to an end the three weeks of backstabbing, perving and complaining which traditionally accompanies this pageant of beauty, creativity and unbridled nudity.

Continues on page 7

Karma Farmers vs Calmer Forums

Report by Destroys on 27/07/17 (24 days ago)

In a traditional sense, Karma is the notion that 'what goes around comes around'. In Torn, a more appropriate proverb would be 'Those who sit in a round circle come together.'

Continues on page 4

Private Security Firms Target Torn

Report by sugarvalves on 24/07/17 (27 days ago)

Private Security Firms have been given the go-ahead by Chedburn to establish themselves in Torn City. This news was confirmed after intrepid citizens uncovered the founding of a dummy company called Karma Team Zero, whose creation is apparently intended to serve as a vehicle for testing new legislation which grants a range of highly desirable perks to those who work in this new and exciting industry.

Continues on page 5

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