Price - 50 cents
Wednesday, Aug 24, 2016
  • in Torn City
  • An Illustrated Weekly Newspaper
  • Edited & Published in Torn City
  • An Illustrate

Duke's Inbox - A Cesspit of Filth

Report by sugarvalves on 22/08/16 (2 days ago)

As many will have noticed, Torn's loan-shark Duke has been decidedly more active of late; his recent forum posts in response to planned attacks upon his person coming hot on the heels of a somewhat surprising offer of charitable aid to the people of the city.

Many in Torn took this opportunity to offer up rivals and enemies as targets for the faux-Mafia bruiser, and while it is not yet known what became of those whose names found their way onto Mr Calabrese's naughty ...

Continues on page 30

Faction Beta - What to expect

Report by IIIlusionist on 18/08/16 (6 days ago)

The announcement of the factions 2.0 update is undoubtedly one of the most anticipated developments in recent years. Just recently the second batch of factions were introduced to 2.0 beta testing, and with many of Torn's users eager to see how this overhaul will affect their own faction, now seems as good a time as any to take a brief look at what players have gleaned from the process so far.

For many, the beta experience involves a short...

Continues on page 29

Tornography - Adamantium's Story

Report by sugarvalves on 15/08/16 (8 days ago)

This year Torn's annual Easter Egg Competition saw more players take part than ever before, with Adamantium coming joint first alongside -asc3nt- after acquiring an astonishing 21 eggs. However, with the winner decided by a game of rock paper scissors - something Adamantium lost after being bludgeoned with the rock, stabbed with the scissors and given a series of paper-cuts to the groin - he had to settle for an eggscruciating second-place billing on the leader-board.

Continues on page 19

Torn Dump - Where Dreams Are Made

Report by sugarvalves on 08/08/16 (16 days ago)

Torn's Municipal dump isn't the most exciting place, and it's doubtful most citizens ever give second thought to the items casually discarded here. Tissues, bouquets, jewellery; only a small number of these abandoned trinkets end up scavenged by the city's poor, as of the 80 million possessions trashed a mere 17 million have ever been recovered.

This discrepancy of more than 60 million items lain waste cannot continue. Our recycling efforts are frankly non-existent, a...

Continues on page 23

Intimidation of the Press

Report by sugarvalves on 01/08/16 (22 days ago)

On the 19th of July I commenced my day as I would any other, with a bottle of Tequila, two Xanax chasers and a box of extra strong mints - just in case mother pops round. After breakfast I began to trawl through the forums and city stats for interesting morsels of news that might make for a compelling read in next week's paper, when something rather odd happened. 

Something that had never happened before to me in Torn or else...

Continues on page 21

T.C.S.E 30 Prices
11,197.19 56.16
Weekly bazaars
  • TC Personals Have you met TSMv1?I want to make some
    friends on here He's put his profile up on our personals section! Would you date him?
  • Bounty section Hospitalize Needles and earn a $1,500,000 reward! Head over to the bounties section for more information!
  • Comics Why not have a look at our comics? Just head over to page 42!
  • Lottery Gwyn won $1,298,900 on Daily Dime 6 hours ago!
    --_-- won $3,690,000,000 on Holy Grail 13 days ago!
    CoMM4nDo won $9,641,220,000 on Lucky Shot 2 days ago!
    Go to the casino to buy your tickets for the next draw!
  • TheoZ [1161882]

    Buying FHCs 14M, DPs 25M, Xanax 815k, EDVDs 2.40M, top cans of X-MAS or Tour 2.3, 1.3M for low stat, medium E cans 1.7M, sfaks 14-16k, morphs 44k-46k, drug pack 4M, box of meds 790k, grenades 1M.. plushie or flower sets 510k . safe trades

  • Janet_Cello [1285682]

    My 7 stars TV Network is hiring...I will pay $2 million daily salary for 200k intel and $1 million daily for 100k intel. Apply now.

  • ViRaL [1019202]

    1.5 mil to the first person to revive me. Thank you.

  • mahler [1397885]

    2 $800000 bounties on me, please hosp me!