Price - 50 cents
Thursday, Dec 14, 2017
  • in Torn City
  • An Illustrated Weekly Newspaper
  • Edited & Published in Torn City
  • An Illustrate

TWIN: Amateurs Shine in PRC Heats

Report by sugarvalves on 11/12/17 (2 days ago)

The qualifying rounds for the Professional Racing Championships came to an end on Saturday, signifying the start of the competition proper as a 48-way fight gets underway in a bid to crown a new super fast driving car champion person of the world - winter edition. Anyone who hasn't qualified by now must wait until the summer for another shot at a PRC title and the much-coveted Bugatti, and when you see some of the absolute trashbags (low ranked players) who have qualified, some of you might kick yourselves for not having entered.

Continues on page 2

The Weak in News: Scrooge and Sport

Report by sugarvalves on 04/12/17 (9 days ago)

This week's T.W.I.N. is packed with so much joy and mirth it could see its own family slaughtered before its very eyes and still not fail to crack a smile. We've got a story about Scrooge and why the city has forgotten him, all the latest happenings from the Professional Racing Competition's qualifying rounds, and a brief summary of what you can expect from the Torn City Times over the festive period. So go on then you malignant sow, read on, if you want to know more.

Continues on page 32

The Weak in News: PRC Multis & More

Report by sugarvalves on 28/11/17 (15 days ago)

The past few days have borne witness to a period of destruction more devastating than any faction conflict, more controversial than Janet Jackson's nip slip, and more inflammatory than anything Lena Dunham's imbecilic mind has ever tweeted. As such, we have three major stories to cover in today's roundup of news, and we shall begin with Kniv's stunning performance which saw him crowned Triple Dog Tag champion.

Continues on page 30

Scammers Strike Torn City

Report by sugarvalves on 20/11/17 (23 days ago)

Torn City is a shady place at the best of times, but over the past week, there seems to have been a notable increase in the number of people falling for obvious scams. Jaiden was accused just yesterday of taking $63million TCD from FinalOffensive, and this came hot on the heels of PrinceVegeta's outing of Lungi-- and DAH's betrayal by an unnamed player on Saturday.

Before the weekend, Kapten_Klitoris posted the results of another of his infamous ruses to add to the list, with his latest multi-million dollar haul building on his previous efforts, the past two of which have returned $875million TCD in scamming profits - minus the cost of a snowboard and driving gloves. So why has scamming suddenly become so easy? Are Torn's people getting stupider? Or are the scammers becoming ever more tough to identify?

Continues on page 29

Game of Tags - Inside view by #2

Report by Td3h on 16/11/17 (27 days ago)

For the past two weeks, the epic battle royale known as the Dog-Tag Competition has engulfed almost every citizen of Torn City. Yours truly currently sits in second place with 16794 points and a total of 464 tags collected. If you would like to know how I achieved this, as well as which strategies you might employ to collect a few tags of your own, you may wish to read on.

Continues on page 28

Winter PRC Offers Second Bugatti

Report by sugarvalves on 13/11/17 (1 month ago)

BackAlleyBob's Professional Racing Championships return for their winter edition on December 3rd, with the winner of the main Class A event in line to receive a Bugatti Veyron and $650million in prize money.

Continues on page 27

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