So I was messing around in Vladar's spreadsheet trying to find a cheaper yet similarly effective alternative to the famous "Happy Jump". Then I came across this guide talking about the Loli/Reindeer Jump, and so I decided to base my research around optimizing that, since it had a similar objective to what I was trying to do. After hours of calculations and experimentation, I've found what I'm now calling the Choco Jump. If this is already a thing, great, but as a noob, having a more recent guide explaining it wouldn't hurt.

DECEMBER 2024 UPDATE: DUE TO CRIMES 2.0 The Bag of Candy Kisses COSTS THE SAME AS BBC AND GIVES 15 MORE HAPPY

The Choco Jump is pretty simple, and it's also something you can do on a daily basis if you time it right.

• Make sure to fill up your Natural Energy
• Pop a Xan like the trap lord you are
• Wait for drug cooldown to end..travel, race, trade, or if you're dumb like me, waste all of your money shooting yourself in Russian Footlette :D
• Consume x48 Big Boxes of Chocolate you fatty >:)
• Pop an ecstasy pill, put on your seat-belt and get ready for the ride O~O
• Train.. wrestling drag queens or whatever it is that you do
• Use point refill and wrestle them some more you whore >:)
• Experience true noob gainzzz

Total Cost: $2.4m

Personal Gainz:





Happy Jump Gains:







Quick Mafs:

6 days of Choco Jumping = 13,650 GAINZ (1,543 MORE than a Happy Jump)! ($14.1M)

7 days of Choco Jumping = 15,925 GAINZ (3,818 MORE THAN HAPPY JUMP)! ($16.5M)

Happy Jump Gains/Cost: 12,107 ($25M - $27M) EDIT: You'll notice this is lower than what the spreadsheet showed in the image. This is because I mistakenly put 1300 energy instead of 1150 energy. Thanks to Sweetiest for pointing it out!

E-DVDs are not dead though. You save so much from the Choco Jump, that if you are someone who can afford the Happy Jump, you could easily add an E-DVD to your Choco Jumps once or twice a week. Respective to my stats, adding 1 E-DVD adds ~500 gains. So if you did it twice/week (which is still in Happy Jump price range), you'd gain an extra 1,000/week. Obviously this number would go up more as you unlock better gyms and such and if you're in a Adult Novelty Store company that has enough stars to double E-DVD happy gains.



As you can see, the Choco Jump (as far as I can tell), is the best bang for your buck when it comes to training. It also has a much higher success rate than the Happy Jump since you only have to consume 2 drugs (Xan and Ecstasy vs 4 Xans and 1 Ecstasy) meaning less ODs and not as much rehab. You have to do it 6-7 days out of the week to compare to the Happy Jump, but even if you can't afford that, and only do it a few days out of the week, you'll still be getting half of a Happy Jump/week which as a new player is GRRREAT! I'm still a new player myself, (playing for a little over a month now), so I could have made some mistakes so if you notice any, please let me know. If this works out for you, also please let me know! I hope you all found this helpful and can go on ahead to start doing Choco Jumps! :D


!!!!!!!!!!!!HALF CHOCO JUMP METHOD IS BEST METHOD!!!!!!!!!

BONUS METHOD (2x/Day Choco Jump): Expert Level - Half Choco Method

• Do Choco Method except only take 22-24 Big Boxes of Chocolate MAX (I recommend 22 for more flexibility)
• Since you only have a 11-12 hour Booster Cooldown, you can do this method twice/day if you time it right.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BEST METHOD ABOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cost: $22.87M ($4.1M less than HJ)

Gainz: 23.5k - 23.8k (1.97x NEARLY 2X HJ FOR PRICE LESS THAN 1X HJ)



EDIT - HOU5E'S CHOCO JUMP SCHEDULE SHEETS:





Again, thank you to HOU5E for these very useful schedule sheets :D