Thread created on 19:17:37 - 26/06/20 (2 years ago)
Last replied 03:02:00 - 16/12/21 (7 months ago)
All non related this seems like a safe and proper place to blog. I had a blog once before a long time ago. It actually became quite popular and was a main draw to the forum that hosted it. Unforutunitly the forum owner got jelous and deleted it. The site ended up going belly up. My ex wife wife owns the domain name now but she aint doing nothing with it. Pity that.
So who am I? Im styeldcurve . Im 40. Im us born. And I struggle with lifes issues. Murder, suicide, kidnapping, false accusations , ... this is all real shit in my life. Everyday I wake up for another day I consider it a victory cause I have loads of reasons to stick my head in the oven. And one over whelming reason not to. Im a father. And I could never do to my son what my father did to me. So I wake up and keep going.
Im not in a healthy head space but as long as i wake up and keep going i feel like im winning.
Edit july 1st 2020 :
Things to add to my CV: ged, techical school for massage therapy with creditation in sweedish and sport event. Also learned a bit about alternative healing methods which honestly is rife in a field like mine . Really ... really powerful stuff.
Done some volunteering with habitat . Good times.id recomend staffing in their Re-Stores to anyone looking to have more satisfaction out of their free time voluntering is awesome.
I am a double fellon but weed man... come on.
I am a first amendment auditor and cop watcher. I'll film whatever I politely want to in public. 1st amendment
My court date got postponed. Not thrilled about that. I want justice!
In the meantime here in torn my faction has been coming along great. Real proud of all of them and pleased at our progress. When I first came into this faction it wasnt not well organized or managed. Former leader and co leader played games with our money, failed to deliever on promises , and then bounced for over 30 days. And thats how in inhertited it. Now a days were getting our daily chain on and were about to open up chain to 50. They are all great players.
Still aint heard back from slork. I won that 5 hours from last post contest last week three days in a row but he aint answered my mails or personal chats. Starting to think im not gonna get that 30 mil. And thats a big bummer. Looks like i may have some more slutting to do in the near future. Ca la vie.
July 1. So moneys going good. Sorda. I mean im working for it... tried me a bit of bountiy hunting kinda wondered if spy reports can see when last attacked and if youncould make nice vaults out of abscure desserters.... thatnwould be near.
Gonna wash my clothes tommorow at my buddies house , has herself one of them mini apartment ones but its good for free. Go to go to the ima group next week for so for social security doctor appointment. That be fun then from those doctors to the main hospital to see the hospital doctors for some other stuff. So fun days headed my way.....sarcastic woot
July 9th Learned i missed an exam for a health evaluation fortunitly they let me reschedual for tommorow. Tying tomget on social security. When i was 19 i had an episode. Told the doctor about my life story upto that point and he strongly recomended i get onto social security back then. Said hed pull all the right strings and make sure i got on but i was like" nah, i aint disabled im gonna work for my living" 21 years later, after the kidnapping and abuse and the most recent shit ive gone through... im about done. I try my best to feel better. To pull myself up. Its rough. And not killing myself like my father did is not a good benchmark. I dont want to just survive. I want to thrive. But its just one curve ball after another.
At least i got my cat. Daisy. Shes a good girl. Catches mice.
You can't go wrong with a pet. They'll keep you going when shit gets hard. Interested in your posts dude and just sucks that you got so many hoops to jump through. I'll do what i can by posting GIFs i like whenever i can..
So holy shit who else saw the medical fairy in the item market last night? Some dude just started dropping pages upon pages of meds for like 5 bucks, 26 bucks, 30 bucks, just ten pages at a time...
I got all that i could but i know dozens , maybe half a dozen other had be watching it by the end. It was incredible but im also thinking the regular established traders must also be pleased presuming marketed plans to aim for 50k or just ride it out wild and see where ot goes. Me? I look at the med crates. Price my stuff reactively.
In other events some person or people have been harrassing my whole faction. Everyone has been getting attacked on mass. Who ever it is theynare always stealthed and some have differnt weapon combinations and of those the damage avrg is differnt so maybe a duo? multis? Who knows but apparently they hold enough of grudge to maintain this sustained grudge over the last 2 or 3 days but also lacks the courage to just say whats on his mind?
Im gonna try my best to figure out what the f**k is going on but on a postive note , with the sustained assault me and my main men will just have to encourage everyone to shoot for to 50 stack chains a day to make things better. Fraction incentive.
In my home life things are ok nothing new, same ol same old :)
And i just got my 100 beers for the day woot. Beennchasing that dragon for a few quarters of the hour today.
Dukes a weird npc. Torn is a werid game. I love it. Its been years since ive kept an online journal. And shit go so bad i gave up for awhiel... but getting into this the chat and foru,s and torn folk... i feel good. Better than i have in awhile. I mean i still got my issues.vut i feel better.
For me the appeal of online journaling is having a jounal thay has the ability to talk back. I take you the inpartial reader going off only what i wrote with great regard. No one has forced you to read this or reply (i hope) and that means something to me. Ill keep writing and pls feel free to keep reading and responding if you like.
Politics and law... others told me to aviod this space... but i am that guy. Politics do concern me cause i refute ignorance.
Story time: you every been beat up over your right to sit on your porch? I HAVE. Let me share.
So after being kicked out of canada i remained in plattsburgh new yourk (its next to the northern border) to remain near my son who lives with his mother in Montreal Quebec. I wont go back to texas because i refuse to be that far away from my son. Anything happens i must be near enough to be there.
So without hope i got on the dole. And i was being put up at a welfair motel. They have a porch out front with a nice picnic bench and some chairs and i was just sitting outside minding my own bussiness after breaking up a fight between a couple of handicapped people the previous evening. One was a friend and i didnt want the other one to hurt her. Their was no violence despite the calls for it, but their was not violence because i put myself between the conflict as a human meat sheild so to speak, and i escorted my buddy safely back to her place.
So its the next morning and im just sitting in a chair on the porch and the shmuck from the prevous night is running her mouth bitching about how i should not of interfered and i deserved to kick my ass kicked. She then proceedes to wheel her motor chair around from room to room asking folks to kick my ass. Some come up to talk shit but nothing happens then she found the maintence man. And he starts talking extra layers of horseshit getting all up in my face as im sitting in my chair and im asking him to get out of my personal space as hes yelling at me to get back in my room as he felt i had no right to be outside.
Then he took a swing. So it was on.
Now im 511 and he had a good foot over me so we scuffled. Eventually i get pinned against a wall but im not going down thats when he starts crying for help. And hes yelling cause he cant take me down and these two pussys from two rooms over come up and start kicking me in the face as im pinned against the wall. After the first kick i did the only thing i could do. I braced and headbut. Got him in the shin well enough to make him limp away like the baby dick he was. Then the maintence man tired and worn out let off. I stood my ground and asked if their was anything else in defiance. Blood , snot , and tears dripping off me . And anger. This wasnt no prision and ill be damned if ill be forced anywhere just because i didnt want to see a cripple fight. Bloody brusied and beaten i returned and continued to sit in my chair.
Them fools chatered amongst themselves about how i had some never and was he hurt, oh praise the white knight that beat up the man that stopped a fight and how is the other kid that bravely kicked a man in the face as he was pinned against a wall..
Oh what woke bravery.
Bright side!!! The welfair officer had to be informed of all of this as i did hit up the hosptial for stiches after about an hour more of sitting. ...lol i was pouring blood. So after it was all said and done my welfair officer let me know that she had a place reserved for a special case like mine. And that is how i got into this apartment.
Its not the hilton ritz but i love it. Helped the landlord do a an overhaul remodeling down stairs. Ive tried working for him more but he only pays on cigarettes and beer and cigarettes and beer done buy cat littler so that hasnt panned out and ive had to put space between us cause i need to earn money i dont like working for beer. Thats dumb. Still, welfair is paying for my place here and it is pretty. My unit is on the corner so i have wrap around windows overlooking the river.
I was just getting back into supportive employment , putting in my applications , doing volunteer work, just starting to get back into work mode when this f**king virus hit.
Sometimes i wonder about being a porter for folks that dont want ro leave their homes still... meh... ill figure out.
After plushe day awhile back i became addicted. Turning 200k into 2+ mill off of market trading. Its an odd balence for me, cause i know i can stay home and buy alot and middle man flip..... OR i could just fly and buy plush amd flower cheap.., BUT IT TAKES SO DAMN LONG TO FLY lol lol lol. So im juggling and having fun... seriously . The thrill of the low buy!!! Like the other week when some one was dumping 5 dollar moraphine ten pages at a time... or when some one sells camels at 40k... oh yeah. That rush of getting the most epic deal. Dont get me wrong , i do my best to make money every which way from sunday... but so far ... my best prize has been a nearly fully upgraded ranch i got for 5 mil. Im rent out to a faction mate for 1 dollar for 30 days.. but i snagged that for 5 mill... good stuff, im addicted to the trade. Buy low , sell high, share with mates.
Went to court today for a lie. Not me. The accuser commited perjury. I plead not guilty and the next hearing is next week. Ive got video , texts, call logs... i got my ducks in a row.
Still im a man being accused by a woman so my gear levels are being tested.
Anyways.... i wanna do a first amendment audit regarding this. Spoke to my lawyer about it a bit and as long as i mind all my Ps and Qs it should be fine... so i might finally have some new content on my yt channel... its been awhile for me.
Inside my game we won our first war. It wasnt our first war fought but the first one that we won. We have territory now.... took it from this "klan" creeps... they got treaties with 5 or 6 other "klans" and after digging at the rabbit hole long enougbi found the "klu klux klan" faction. Theyre on my shit list now but it bugs me that the confederate honor bar was removed, and soup nazi refference from signfield was removed but that faction name is ok.... and dont get me wrong , i oppose tearing down statues and burning books. History has the most impirtant place.
That said, the klan is actively listed as a terrorist organization. They do... they do things that aint right ... they commit evil. Theyre bad f**king peoples as an organized group of people . This aint historical context but an active group of f**king terrorists.
Gonna go antifa hunting next. Ive no love for antifa. As a first amendment auditor I've watched auditors on both sides of the spectrum get attacked by antifa. If we the public citizen jounranlist with no side or stake in the story other than boots on the ground reporting get attacked..... well then... i will report where my enemy is!!!! f**k the police and f**k antifa!
We all have rights not just not some picked special few.
This is all past tense. I did my best with the alternative solution. That was a mistake.
So my neighbors across the hall are arguing. It happens. They are being loud and real agressive, soy vrs girls... but no violence, i shut the door, wait two miments to double check,... dantes f**kijg 9th circle... holy hell. The shit i heard coming outside that hall way.
Im not idel, ...
The police saidmwe cant do nothing, proerty manger cells phone had no service. I could not find my phone. I went to Stewarts. They still have pay phones. I called 911... theynsaid theyncoukd do nothing about it it.... he was throwing or knocking her off the walls. It was ugly. I made the bad choice. I thiyght call cops before engaging... nope cops did nothing. I shouldmof engaged.... holy hell
Im rewsry now.. on alarm and ready. That f**ker aint right, i called copsp... i did my duty. Now ij home ... nervous but alright. I did my duty... wtf was wrong with those troopers.
God, its almost been a month since my last entry excluding my thanks to staff for moving it. Thanks again torn staff.
If youre wondering about the woman beater, well... cops wouldnt do anything. I found no support anywhere. So i made a little sign and tapped on the hallway wall infront of his door letting him know he was being watched and i put the crisis numbers on it in case she ever feels like getting help.
Otherwise , if i ever hear that shit again i will know better than to call anyone and just handle it myself and let the chips fall where they may.
Lousy cops... im no antifa larper but i got no love for the police as they currently operate. Anyways.
Seasons change and so does my mental health counselor. Fortunitly ive been paired with someone i already know and trust and they know my story. They also started a parenting group for parents estranged from their children. Ive actually been at the forfront of things there. Had not clue my story would help others has it has. The parenting class was put on hiatus for covids but its start back up this next week and i will be there for myself and other parents seperated from their kids...the dividing line of the group is a thing... its a co-ed group. One gender has to deal with their partners making selfish choices regardless of the harm it causes the kids... the other gender can't understand why the state took the kids over a few drinks or drugs. Bet you cant guess which genders are which, of course you can but its a moot point because we all offer support equally and to be fair, some of the druggies have cleaned up their acts and stayed clean for years so you know , at some point i believe theyve earned their second chance...as for those with partner issues...second chances arent a thing...it can be rough. I give my full support to parents estranged from their kids.
Meanwhile in torn, the elimination is crazy but im sticking with it. Not gonna lie i did consider quiting half way into that first day...but the lure merits is just too strong for me. Also the constant barrage died down and i was able to make a few hits before getting whacked again so i am able to contribute a little bit.
Faction is doing well. Weve opened up travel 5 and everyone was showing reall good consistency with dailiy to every other day 50 chains. Gonna be difficult to maintain chain momentum during elimination but thats ok, we can get back to normal when elims are done.
Ten days out from finishing my sports science degree. Then its one more class in self defense to unlock kick and on to history so i can become a points man. Heck yeah.
Alright thats enough updating for now. Gonna try to not wait so long for my next entry.
Yeah i divorced her... after so many night of abuse and hate, shit no person in their right mind could tolerate, ... all normal for her. She saw it on law and order so that must be the way things work in real life,,,,
In trouble again just because she wants to get laid. Cant believe how clockwork this is. She gets new boyfriend all of a sudden i cant talk to my son.
Like seriously wtf. I dont care about her sex life and i dont share mine out of consideration. Meanwhile she really gets off on trying to give me her graphic details....
Im just so tired of the emotional knife.
I just want to be in my sons life and it feels like she cant resist twisting the emotional knife.
Their's a reason i drink these days. Not today though. Im doing better. I wanted to have that drug and alcohol talk with our son. I invited her and her mom to join me and holy hell did she flip a switch.
Idk. I dont deserve this shitty treatment nor does our son.
Edit: how bout them apples, she texted me an apology for being snippy with me. Turns out her date never happened, she didnt make it to the protest she wanted to goto, and shes dealing with aunt flo...
So i got the but end of her discontent but she did apologize and ill be skyping with my boy this evening.