I used to blog like crazy on MySpace... then they deleted everything. It was devastating.

Skimmed through your stuff. Interesting life! I'm so glad you're Journaling it! I can definitely relate to some of the things you've gone through. You'd be surprised which parts lol. Not sure why randoms are taking issue with your post in non-related? It literally is one of the deadest threads and does not affect anyone. Keep it up!

Something ive been keeping to myself is the exwife stuff..
This time last sunday she was talking about killing herself. And their aint much i can do with her in montreal and me here in upstate NY.
I just stayed up all night with her, reminded her of our son and his grand kids one day. What needs to happen is , that she needs to throw away that damn bottle of moraphine her doctor proscribed her way back. She is 45 years old. Makes an attempt by various pills about once a decade. One time during our marrige. I could call 911 back then...now ,,id just be notifed.. scary as sin. By my math , she is over due to make another attempt and better armed to succeed. Wont be no, cry for help , thing if she messes up again.

I didnt say this to her but the whole time I thought, what about our son? What would he do? What would I tell him? She has full custody cause native qubeccer and I am not. Son also born in the USA but qubeec courts didnt care. Our son.

As the week went on i called to check up on her. Suggested mental health help. She responded that she had quit drinking, which is good considering she is a moderate to heavy drinker... not so good that she had to use xanax to overcome the first few days... i didnt even know she had xanax. Freaking liberal social health care just giving folks whatever they ask for I guess.

Suicide.. the one that goes hurts no more, the ones they leave behind hurt for the rest of their lives.

Maybe this week will be better.

You came in 2902nd place on the Dog Tags competition. You have been credited with 8 tokens. Thank you for participating.

Top 3000,
And I only started paying attention late.
Next time someone offers me my own dogtag back I will say yes! And please! And thank you!

Had a weird interaction with a customer today. A buyMugger.
Now alot of people give buymuggers a hard time and i myself aint fond of it........ buuuuuuuuuut....

When youre buying 10s thats !TENS! Of MILLIONS of dollars worth of merch off me.... my care about being buy mugged signiffigantly dwindles... especially at my price point , i means cyber minday and all , everyone gets a deals.. I still protect myself and my money as best i can being openly active on the market knowing most all the risks and rewards.

So im running without cash and someone buys over a dozen sodas off me. Blamo buy mugged for a few mill of his own money zero to hero woot.. Ok dont care look at that stack i just made. Sweet!

This next part is my fault and im reconsidering my attitude.
Imreach out with a good beer, pumpkin spice, yeah baby , send it to my buymugger. Thank him as i do most all my hugh dollar buymuggers and welcome him to shop again with me because no hate.. i get that they get blacklisted alot. If anyone makes my blacklist, they f**ked up. N dats all ima say bout that. Whew. This guy though, starts talking trash about me my faction and how im a big cry baby poopy head salty that i made no profit.....

Glad i didnt bust out the swamp punch blend.

I stopped there.


If he needs that illusion im not gonna break it.
About 1 outta 5 buy mugs cut into my proffit line. Maybe give ormtake. I mean it happens, but his time wasnt one of them.but if thinking otherwise is his dopamine hitmfor the day, ill try not to rob him of it.

Been a minute.... shits so f**king real I dont know what the f**k to do.....

I want to write about good shit happening to me...but ill need some good shit to happen first.

Im still f**ked up over this.

So its december. Order of protection expired back in October. Ive no wish to speak with my ex girl friend after she got violent with me and lied to cops to get me arrested. Its all over my case was dismissed but ....their is still the baby. (God why did I stick my dick in crazy)
So i ask about it since ive heard conflicting things and if i have a baby by her , im gonna be there. 20 minutes later state troopers arrive to arrest me saying i violated the expired protection order.

I tell em theyre wrong and to show me proof. I show them my court papers... they ignore that insisting they are right. Theyre cops after all. Im a civilian. (The divide is real). So i get a ride down to the local tiny substation. I dont resist. I keep asking for proof since i showed them mine. About the time the pig asks if im ready to get finger printed and photographed I buck. I wont have my face on moblie patrol just cause pigs got it wrong... im still stunned at myself here jn this regard. I told him no. I told him to call as any as he needs cause im innocent and i will not comply. At this he went into negotiation mode asking if i would comply if he got the order. I would not agree to shit i just kept on saying thats great show me the order. So he walks across the hall talks with people and when he comes back i am uncuffed and he tells me i am unarrested. That the DA made a mistake and then these other people did too, it was everyone elses fault he couldnt read and accept the court papers I already tried to show him. But no worries, i am unarrested.... yeah... no. Maybe legal aid will help me this time. Who knows... i doubt it.

So walk home cause i got no car and nobody and them pricks are too busy to do the right thing.

I pop a can and have a drink. FML

Edit to add

The cops did confim she is still pregnant. Still saying its someone elses. When I got back I had messages waiting for me. She replied still saying she miscarried cause of how i handled her and im like i dont know who youre lying to but it aint me cause ive never put hands on you. No matter though. She'll give birth and courts can handle things from there.

Ah , im a few days late any way you count it. My first update was at 100 days, i had meant to do a follow up at 200 days but other stuff happened so I said to myself " ill do it at 300 days"

So a few days late and here in my personal space rather than a unique thread in GD.

300 Days of Torn mixed into the maddness that is my life.

Torn is f**king Great! I f**king love it, for all of its faults and flaws and imperfections. The ever ongoing ever improving thing that it is...
Wish I knew about it back in my AOL days but then again I doubt 20 year old me would of been able to appreciate it as I do now.

Props to cheds and boges and whoever else and everyone else that has kept this gem going. Every admin, every blue name,every player , f**k yeah.

The community-based thing. Ive read alot of torn history now. Soaked in anything and everything vetrans have to say. Smiled at the marriges and not cried at the losses. You cried i only had stuff in my eyes. It is something unique. Checking out the youtube channels is fun, Yall should run these ads on channels when ever you feel your servers are ready for another infulx of accounts.

300 days of getting to know you.

From scratch.

Every scar , every mistake, every accomplishment , mine. All mine.
With a great fraction core ive come to know and cherish. Even if they dont read my blog. Thats probably for the best to be frank but i dont really care who reads it. Its made in public to be read. Or ignored. Your individual choice. For better or worse. I get random hospitalizations sometimes. Have no clue whats up with that or if anything even is up with that. God knows ive pissed a person off a time or two but i would always rather work something out. Greatful as all hell to the leaders that have been willing to work things out with me and mine.


Still, at the heart of this game is conflict. Them first words

"you will be mugged"

Me thinking ok better not neglect the gym oh i went up 5 points...this is gonna take time.

300 days later... i can spartan kick now.


And much more. As i get into the trader scene i often think this should of been called free market simulator 3000. Yeah , ill buy your stuff too just like everyone else but i aint got no price list or torn market helper thing.. unless yata counts no Imjust ; if I see it and I see profit in it , I will buy it. The econimcs of it all facinates me especially with the lock down influx of new players... i kinda feel like once they dominated them big box choclates they turned their eyes to the eDvds with out fully appreciating the networth worth gap of established players who can buy every single soda on the market just to tank the market so that they could buy double or triple the amount of cans so as to dominate the market. Had alot fun watching my money burn and taking that L still, im only 2 and half courses away from becoming a point man. Probably have to change my style at that point.


Only thing that takes longer than training and educmukating meself is the faction building oof. And we didnt practice any of those respect building wars before that got nerfed, nah nope, we're earning that respect the hard way cause we all that smart wit da big brains. Yeah... excursion 7 soon second branch after that Oh lord oh well, thats the work and accomplishments of it all... speaking of respect and conflict , i invite anyone to reach out to me or my co or any of our capos if any of my guys are paying any of your guys a little too much attention, especially in the wallet. Theirs plenty of fish in the sea.

I know, i get around. And ive come to learn about feeders, and multis and all of the flaws that really is just part of the most negative aspect of online gaming culture, it aint something "the bullyhunters" are gonna stop cause hell , them bullyhunters were lying cheaters them selves.(what is zombie unicorn doing these days? Nevermind i just remebered i dont care) We can make reports, things can be dead obvious,but without proof... well you already know the unfortunate answer. Which means IMA DOUBLE DOWN AND TRAIN HARDER AND GIT MOAR GUUDER ...dont make me give ya reason

Too much bravado? Meh maybe, but thats the only answer i can think of. Report when suspicious and failing improve your own 360 noscope game or make enough money to be able to pay someone else with bigger numbers to handle it. Fortunitly i dont see to much of that these days . although I'm sure admins see more than they'd like.

Other than all that i suppose my game gripe would be can yall come off the 40 million dollar lighters? I'm trying to burn down some government buildings here. What is it for the arson merit, how many was it,.. 5000 fires? I think.And I was doing drugs crimes until i read everyones current opinion on the whole of that.,still doing drug crimes occasionally other wise its steal a car , steal a car, set a fire. And before anyone looks at my numbers and stores its not really a show stopper or anything... im just eyeballing 5 lighters up for sale whew,,scarcity achieved. One pops for 39 sometimes...wasnt rosarys in thatbplace earlier.. oye hey, ill trade ya my rosary beads and a love juice for lighter, hows that sounds? No? Oh well, cant blame a man for trying.

Ok , its been a blast writing up this 300 day report but I should wrap it up. Maybe buy George a bottle of christmas cheer.

Merry Christmas yall

You too my man. Nice blog too.

Ive always like the idea of santa giving the naughty kids a lump of coal ya know, cause when your cold in winter and even if you ain't been perfect , ya get a lump of coal, to keep your family warm in winter.

So, for christmas, my son got a bunch of Avengers themed stuff. Then he started complainjng and whining about it. I did wanna talk to my exwife about it but she beat me to telling me she gave him the finger and made him cry. When she got home and called her mom to to let her know she made it home safe he was still crying. She then got a cigar and celebrated the fact that our son would be at grand mas for 5 days... then i was belittled for havjng MS while she was concerned she might have throat cancer because it hurt when she swallowed.

Their are no words that can adequately convay the emptiness of my heart. I feel so bad for our son. My ex is unbelievable like that. Moma couldnt even spend christmas with her son, gave him the finger and said good bye instead. Ive asked to have him back so many times if he is such a burden on her, but she insists that he can choose to live with me when hes 18 if that is what he wants.

If theirs any bright side to any of this , the mother inlaw finnally gave him my mothers christmas gift he was supposed to get 2 years ago, back when she was alive. She had a dream that my mother visited her so she felt motivated to give my son what was always his.

This is our life.

So i wrote a short guide for players new like myself and younger. At first i was thanked by other noobs. Then i got roasted by the vets.

I just wanted to share what ive learned in my 300 days here. I havent read any guide bringing up the subject of cars and though sharing that information will make car buying harder for myself, i wanted to share that for the noob that didnt know. I didnt even look at cars in my 1st 100 days. And i wanted to speak a bit about mugging by the job rather than buy mugging or item market hunting let folks know if you're gonna practise mugging this is the best way ive found. and also utilizing the hospital to find the trip/baldr targets cause most all of them from the leveling target lists live in the hospital.

I tried to make it humorous and informative.

Im just gonna let it sink.

Nice blog~

Happy new year one and all. Cast aside the hurt and worries of the last year for a night, if you can and let yourself relax for this moment.
The worries of tommorow will come regardless if you worry now or later, so on this night, lets give everyone and ourselves a break.

Peace on earth and goodmwill toward men.


(By men i mean humans, stop being so woke, theirs no ill intent )


What else blog journal diary?

Didnt write him. I wanted too but , Im still intimidated, but i subbmitted the articlembecause by damnit it should be mentioned for 2020. It is one of the things that stood out for torn in this passing decade.

I feel safer here. Mentioned this game once to the ex wife but she had no interest thank god, shes not a coder, but she knows how to read boring shit and copy and paste. Shes still waiting on the niagra3 patch for dish, and shes proven her power to follow me on anon websites. Its not cool but she's as smart as me just focused differently, meh., its why i fell for her.



Plush and flower prices have been a thing. The other stuff with the ct gifts were kinda expected and ive made my killjng but them goats rrrrgghh and china blossoms , yeeeee.two more travel merits to earn then the last one. Merit hunting is hard but i luuuve it.


Its dark outside but i can see the city/village christmas lights. Im so thankful to live in a small town currently. I was raised in a houston suburb. This town of less than 2000 is much nicer than other small towns ive live lived in. I can only guess it might be because of their proximity to NYC. .. its like everyone has an nyc story, but i never lived there, only visited, know better than to want to live there.

Its a new year. God helpmus its a new year. 2021...

f**k me

Let worry and concern wait till tommorow.

Happy new year.

A new year on torn. A free chock hold from leslie. Thanks leslie. Illmtry to make the best use of it at my lesuire... cause you know im gonna soin that wheelmagain you loas mofo, sonva fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck,

Free hospitaliztion..... at my leisure.

Its better than a strait lose.

Tbh

This is my current anthem https://youtu.be/UOUBW8bkjQ4



You dont need to lecture me about hate being a poison . Just have an ems sister that you looked up to help kid nap you son when you told her not to help.. its been 8 years. Sons been located. Still this bitch apoligizes to me saying shes sorry about how i feel about her choices.


I really cant believe how much i hate. Cause im a fogiving person. Heck , i could forgive the guy that got me six months for his crime, he was dumb. He didnt know better, she did. She did. And she did it anyways


Fortunitly , i sacrificed everything. Ima texan living in new york. Close to the canadian border and i can run to my son if the situation insists.

This remains one of my favorite songs. Joji... filthyfrank, hes pretty gal darned talented

cant believed i read most of your updates

Dude, so many spelling errors. Bothers me so much. Anyway, keep blogging.

As you wish. (Que princess bride nostalgia)

Life wise, still dealing with my new ms disagnosis. Not on drug threapy yet but i got a secondary mri the other day and results should be in by friday or monday and hopefully the doctor can recomend something soon.

TORN WISE!

I got faction mate who is always trying to sell his friend or foe reports and i finnally took a look at my foe count and it was like 30 and I was like WTF i havent been that big of an asshole have I? So I asked him to clue me in ... oof that was pricey. I was gonna wait , cause i had to buy an FHC to maintain a chain but he had gone and done it so i went into a little bit of debt, no biggie as i dance in the red and black all the time, that is one of the reasons i maintain a healthy finacial faction buffer...but my word!!!

Apparently i was on many a big dogs shit list, and to be frank i dont even know or why? Could be this blog? Could be my political opinion. Could be because its tuesday. I dont know. But i set out to offer apology ecans and try to make amends, as my bazzar says, if i mug ya and you want your money back just ask me and its yours... probably with beer of some sort to boot. I like to give beer, i feel it helps smooth out differences. ... so 30 mil worth of ecans i got over the holidays later and the majority have told me its ok. Some couldnt remember why i was on there shit list, some it was just part of the torn tournaments, a few i knew what i did and I gave them extra words too since i was guilty of coming down hard on them to protect faction mates and thats a big thing to me (protecting my mates)and probably to every faction leader that cares about their faction.

100 lvl bois could really do a number on all of us.

So in the interest of ensuring their safety (and making legit amends where i know i could of been more chill) i done the best i could to make atonements for the new year.

Happy new year

God help us

It looks like 2021 has told 2020 to hold its beer.