Somehow, some nimrod has read through this and decided im a racist agaisnt Quebec people. Told my old lady about this and she laughed, citing that Quebec aint a race.
She's native born French from Montreal. As ive stated before. And she's done some shitty things as Ive stated, but like ive said before , she has a social worker now, done some mental health work for herself, we talk often now and are civil and cordial with each other.
Now while l was living in Montreal, I got to experience lots of cultural bigotry firsthand , from both the french and the english there but , apparantly some lvl 100 douche nozzle wants to continual the bigotry over torn because other people acted like dickheads to me ergo, in his big smooth brain, that means im waycist.
See thats why nobody gets names, god forbid this "nice guy" goes near my family.
I wont be bullied into silence but im not stupid enough to give a "nice guy" the information one like them needs ro enact their white night fantasy.
And if you're reading this homie, their is plenty of mental health resources available to you up there.
Not that ill be forgetting yesterday anytime soon.
So me and my homeboy were hanging out at the river park. Ran into some folks we knew as well as a new person they knew. And were sharing some drinks playing gutair when new guy casually asks if I wanna fight.?
Some im thinking, "oh its one of those kinds of drunken chuckleheads"
Thing is, I DID want to fight.
I love recreational fighting.
But hes new, were drinking, only my homey knows that i enjoy fighting some im like "nah , not right now, maybe in a while"
So he then asks my boy Carson if he wants to fight and Carson is all like "nah im good bro".
With that fighty new guy starts walking around meandering with others, chillin, it didnt look like anything was out of control just some drunken foolery. So I decides its been awhile now and im ready. I give carson my phone and take all my shit outta my pockets.
Take off my shirt.
Say" hey yo , homie. Are ya still looking to fight"?
Their's a shift in the tone.
He pops out this safety box cutter.
I sniker "whats that"?
Then theirs some teenage edgelord posturing. (From a 30 yr old manboychild thjng ) I dont know if he was trying to show off for himself or for the girl. I let him know that by fight I meant throwing rounds. Im not fighting a dude with a box cutter. To dis-arm and harm, fuuuck. Theirs fighting for fun and then theirs fighting for self defense and a weapon is gonna mean a bad time. The rules change with weapons. You either take their weapon or take off.
Course I was still drinking and so was everyone else. And cringe master 5000 wasnt really looking for a fight he was looking to behave stupid. So I blow off he invitations cause he wanted to doing the same thing showing off his play toy. At one point he came behind me with it. That was just a wrist grab and a no no no. Then the girl takes him aside to get him to quit his shit and me and Carson get bored and bounce.
We head back to my place and low, ronnie and mark and dusty all my neighbors are outside having some summer time drinks. We start mingling woth the neighbors, chilling, recounting that recent park adventures we just came from and im lamenting that he was just trying to be an edgy punk and didnt really want to fight.
People pleaser and Carson is, he offers to go a few rounds , and im like naaah , you sure? Naah I mean , Ill hit you, you understand that right, this be a fight and not a slow dance. And I know he knows cause he comes from the life and hes like yeah man lets do it
Me: alright :D
So we go by the patch of grass by the masonic lodge. All our neighbors are watching us. Caraon wants to know what rules we fighting by and im like "rules? What rules? Fight club rules. Someone say 'stop,goes limp,taps out' the fight is over" unspoken I remenered the next rule, fights will go ine as long as they have too. Now neither of us were gonna make tomato paste out of the other but this ... this is a real rule. If you wanna fight you cant be afraid of broken noses or busted teeth, Thats gonna happen in a fight sometimes. So, carso gets amd we get it on.
And OF COURSE I have to start the initiative. 9 foghts outta 10 its always me having to throw the first punch... and the first one never lands. Im just thinking come on man swing at me, give me an opening, fack.
So , im keeping a head down chin down trying to get in closer cause thats gonna have to the move and were trading exchanges, hes dodging cause of course is and im blocking cause my doge game is weak but he aint nailing much of substance and then I get I click off his jaw.
Hes awake now.
Shit i tensifies, its gettimg good a tap his throat. I didnt even mean to nail his throat. Neighbors are eriled "oh my gawd you hit em un the throat" carsons holding his throat going on about it for about a second. Ive stopped preasing cause I dont know if we are continuing.
Wooo things get real close and I end up taking it to the ground, not my plan but thats where we went. Then im on top, hes on top, im on top again and its sleepy time in my mind as im begin to try and maneuver my arms around right and about that time carson taps out
"My NUTS, Your On MY NUTS"
Apparently I had leged around poorly trying to maintaim control and locked in a bad way...
We disengage he takes 30 seconds to catch his breath I take 30 seconds
Then my adrenalin dumped
After 30 sexonds hes got his wind back and his nurs free and wants to go another round.
Im still on one knee heavy breathing watching everything. LOL
Im like nope, fights over, you win.
Course neighbors recount things differently and yeah I did agree to disentangle over an accidental nut crusher. I was trying to put him to sleep not crush his nuts. Serious though, if he wanted to insist on round two I was spent. Ida been toast
More beers are had and smiles are shared it was a great fight and a good time.
Next morning, now time.
Why do I block ?!?!? I SHOULD DODGE one swoll lefty and one right shin protesting.... that was one knee blocked and one fist blocked. And as much as im like ouch im also thinking OOF thank god I didnt let those hits connect. f**king Carson mighta laid me out lol.
We tossed rounds, it was good. Havent enjoyed a fight in a long time.
Level: 50 Status: Okay Qty: 10 Listed by: Someone Reason: Quebecois IS a race, racist!
Now this here is what the incels call a "pro-gamer" move. Apparently , a phoney quebecer thinks they know more about quebec culture than my quebec ex-wife. Go figure.
Vous etes un cochon stupide
To anyone else, if you feel knocking a bounty off my head for such a cheap sum , feel free. Youd be doing me the favor. And thank you for those that already did.
To be honest the homeboys projected bigotry does bother me. It feels like hes saying something about her and ours when he projects his bigotry on me. And me and her have been through some shit. She aint no saint but she is the mother of my child and I care very much about her.
quebec is a colony, and it was a french colony which is why people in quebec speak french. quebec isnt a race, but the quebec ethnicity would be ethnic french..... or english given the english stole that colony off france so thered be some mix there between french and english.... of which english is kinda already mixed with french due to the norman invasion of 1066 anyway.
Almost been two weeks... roadhouse passed. ...... I wanna get rescanned right soon but I bet the doctors will want to wait till after the next infusion. Aug 10th. Very greatful to him for what I learned about the condition.
Recoveres from last weeks workout. Cleaned house alittle. .... I really want to jump the border again but not before I get my dental work done... I might wait for the next infusion too... fudge, I jump and its bye bye healthcare. I dont jump and whos there for my son. Yeah... screwed from either direction so I continue to hurry up and wait.
By god im trying to let go of some resentments in this moment. I dont know why the exwife goes through these hot and cold cycles. Feels like emotional blackmail or something..thats not quite right emotional abuse? Definitely.
Was having trouble with the Skype . My son couldnt hear me. I text her for assistence and she just glares at me fidddles with stuff doesnt say a word and walks away with out the volume problem being fixed. My son did eventually fix it himself.
He then wanted to know why i made mistakes at my pizza job. Thats kinda privileged information he shouldn't know about. Unless she told him her version about it.
The pizza job is where i met a chic that actually listened to what I had to say. And she liked me. I liked her. But I was married and I realized very unhappily. I didnt even want that damn pizza job but for her nagging. Because making 1200 to 1500 a month seling shit on craigslist wasnt stable and I needed a real job so she could tell her mom something. That pizza job is where shit fell apart. I remained faithful, in body. She says I emotionally cheated on her.... yeah well i aint certain about that, maybe yes, maybe no but I damn sure wasnt listened to or well supported at home.... and god knows she never went one f**king day with out a drink or a smoke so I had to be doing something right work wise... but no, she couldnt tell her mom had a "real job" so I broke.....
And its been 7 years since I divorced her.
We go through these spats. She takes me to the shower on her device and asks me to stay with her as she goes to sleep... then shit gets flipped to ice cold shoulder and ignoring my attempts to reach out and communicate.
My boy askimg about the pizza job stuff... hes 10. He shouldmt be burdened with our bullshit , and ive tried my best on my end but I cant stop her or reach her or get her to understand anything.
I wish she would get some dbt or cbt therapy. Ive seen it have great positive impact with other narcissists first hand.
Well, she finnally affirmed her change of mind. She wont be joining me for a therapy session. Freaking shame. My therapist was offering it free of charge with the intent of helping us communicate and co-parent better.... god its disappointing.
Cause their is so much I remain uninformed about and she has so much control over our son... much of which she gives to her mom. Anyone else as long as its not me.
Before the covids she was movong away from her revenge mindset.
I don't know she changed her mind about the therapy... just that her opinion changed after I informed her that yes indeed my therapist does know everything. Yes my therapist knows about this, yea ive told my therapist about that, oh yeah that super shameful you hold over my head from time to time shared that too.
I guess not having any ammunition to do a mind blowing reveal too the wind outta her sail.
Still no closer to better communication and cohesive co-parenting.
Well shut my mouth and call my susan, my ex wife is going ro church service today. This will be the first service shes attended in about 30 years. Her story of death and loss mirrors my own. Father murdered in cold blood , little brother hit by a car , all that before ten, shes had a serious "hate on" for god for a long time now. She tells me shes been watching services online and that shes attending because this is the first day they are open again.
Im stunned, impressed, glad, and happy and grateful. Praise the lord
7 days ago. Oof what a f**king week. Can't remember what else I was supposed to be doing o line so here I am updating this here blog seeing what was last. It was that -^-
In the interm holy shit did she get miffed at me for no freaking reason the next day. I texted her saying "howdy, how ya doing? How's our son?"
3 lines of text. 5 hours later I was wondering if my shit was working cause other folks I'd texted that day never got back to me either. So I texts her again asking if she was receiving? (Turns out this device was acting up, had to do a factory reset)
Well. That was too much.
Called me insane, insulted me over my mental health therapy threatened to cut off communications which carries the implied threat of restricting contact with my son via Skype.
Initially I apologized then I realized I had done nothing wrong that I was apologizes for her chewing my ass out over nothing. Then I asked for an apology.
I didn't get no apologies but she did let me wish my son happy birthday and she spoke cordially to me and about me with grand ma and our boy. Neither one of us brought up her out of touch outburst or anything about apologies. Just gonna pretend nothing happened and move on like that.
In nice news, I found a thc vape pen. No charger though so I'll have to try and find one at the thrift store hopefully. Still super cool though.
They f**king fired Hillary. So upset right now. Short of f**king a client I dont see how or why she would get fired unless it was my fault for the dentist thing.. still tèré says. She can do it. I asked about liability and she said she didn't see any ... I never did either but the organization might? I dont know but she gave me the go ahead to make the appointment ...
Another female counsoler.... oof. I could go with the new guy and he does seem pretty sharp but this is his first rodeo so I'm sticking with tèré since we already have a report...
I just dont understand.. she's talked a number of folks outta suicides, supported people at drug and mental health courts , never written up no disciplinary stuff on record and BLAM... buddy of mine that works here in a nin mental health capacity says their was lots of catty issues since it is a majority female work place... this really sucks.
At least I still got this. Short of torn itself going defunct I think I'll be able to keep this.
The pain has been real. Apparently I was not feeling it over the weekend. Went to group today and balled my eyes out.
I will never speak with Hillary in a professional sense again. That's 4 years of our working relationship gone. And I just keep thinking "I hope it lasts forever, that he was worth your career... but given your track record with men I'm kinda apprehensive about that outcome"
If she had not insisted on my going to the hospital I would of blown off the numbness on my right side as just my back going out. I never would of found out I had MS, things would of definitely gotten worse.
Tere, is all business. She seems genuine enough and all but she does have her time management down to the minute lol. Minor bot of OCD but who could fault her considering the hole she's climbed out of.. like ,any of us suffering the thralls of addiction.
f**k though..... I am just heartsick about losing hill... I mean , I know I'll see her around town eventually. It's a small town. Everyone knows everything as is the case with smaller towns.. but she'll never be my counselor again...
If only the horny dog bonker had bonked them both before she commiged herself to the f**k up hahaha. Oh well. That's life, whatcha gonna do?
Well... the Biden thing was real after all. People told me yesterday evening... I thought it was horse shit because it sounded so outlandish I was like "noooo come on, quit f**king with me" but no.
Any job with more than a hundred employees, anyone without the mark, please take this shot and die, its mandatory, we will kill you for non complainces....
Here we are.
And my hyperbolic hyperbole isnt so far fetched depending on your level of resistance to FORCED shots,
if someone forces you to do something it probably ain't good.
Every bussiness with more than 100 employees... RIP fireworkstands. RIP up and coming mom and pops. RIP liberty and freedom.
I didn't declare war against myself but that douchebag has declared war against me and even the vaccinated that support my right to choose. Maybe I got aids, maybe I'm a Hemophheliac, maybe I'm amish, maybe I will fight to the death against a forced shot f**k you and your force.
Most common word amongst all languages,
No, I will not comply and I will resist force with all of my life.
Jesus..have to psyche myself up to make this entry. Its uncomfortable in groups sometimes,seeing who ain't there thinking to myself yesh, I'm the only dclass there.. wheres my buddy... oh yeah it ain't lunch time yet. The others though, knowing their stories and such,,, yecks.
Uncomfortable gloomy day in the groups.
Also gotta check that email about other groups with conni.
Note: the boob appreciation thread highly distracting. I was unprepared for the sheer overwhelmingly awesomeness of boobage their was to appreciate. Marvouls thread ten outta ten, will read again someday maybe.