Why i hate sun fish
  •   Seth_ [1970642]Seth_ [1970642]
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    Thread created on 11:08:12 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    Last replied 23:31:29 - 20/08/18 (5 months ago)


    So someone in a group requested me to inform them why I hate the ocean sunfish a lot, and apparently it turned into ~too imply~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for moral journalism, i am posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

    Disclaimer, I care about marine existence greater than I care approximately something else, for real. except this big dumb idiot. And it is not like an ~ironic~ component, I imply it's miles hilarious to me and they're the largest funny story played on the earth but I severely ****ing hate them.

    THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

    they're the arena's biggest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And when you consider that they've little or no girth, that just makes them those in reality giant ****ing dinner plates that God have to have by chance dropped at the same time as washing dishes in the future and shrugged his shoulders at due to the fact no one may want to have imagined this would show up. AND with out a purpose. every POUND OF that is a WASTED POUND AND every FOOT OF IT (10 feet via 14 ft) IS WASTED area.

    they may be so absolutely useless that scientists even debate approximately how they pass. they have got little manipulate aside from a few minor wiggling. a few say they should just push water out of their mouths for course (?????). they could use their again fin besides guess WHAT IT DOESNT ****ING grow. It just always folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating rubbish simply does not placed them where they want to ****ing pass.

    in order that they do not have swim bladders. you recognize, the one aspect that every fish has to make sure it does not simply sink to the bottom of the sea once they forestall moving and might live the right facet up. This creature. that can slightly move first of all. Can never stop its continuous excursion of idiocy throughout the ocean or it's going to ****ing sink. except. besides. when they get stuck on top of the water! Which occurs regularly! because with out the entire swim bladder thing, if the sea pushes over THE THINNEST however biggest maximum TOPPLE-able FISH in the world, shit outta luck! there's no creature on this earth that wishes a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND yet. some scientists have speculated that after they try this, they may be soaking up electricity from the sun because nobody ****ing is aware of how they manipulate to get any real energy to start with. so they need the solar I guess. however properly news, once they emerge as caught like that, it gives birds a risk to land on their goddamn island of a body and consume the insects and parasites out of its pores and skin as it's essentially a slowly migrating cesspool. professionals and cons.

    "If they're so massive, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The maximum dangerous aspect about them is, as you can have guessed, their stupidity. they have caused the dying of one man or woman before. as it jumped onto a ship. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its strong glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-yr-antique boy. thankfully Byron sustained no injuries. manner to head, fish. outstanding activity.

    They basically only devour jellyfish due to direction they do, they might only consume some thing that has no mind and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I bet. the whole lot they do eat has nearly zero nutritional fee and due to the fact it is so stupidly ****ing massive, it has to consume a ton of the nearly no dietary price stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (that is certainly why that is my favorite photograph of 1, and i've had it saved to my cellphone for three years) "Oh no! What could have befell! How could this be!" Do now not permit that expression idiot you, they simply don't have the goddamn capability to close their mouths because their enamel are fused collectively, and ya understand what, it is right it floats around with any such clueless expression on its face, because it's miles in reality clueless as all ****.

    They do sometimes get eaten though. but hardly. No animal honestly makes use of them as a meals source, but alternatively (which has lead us to stated picture) will normally just maim the **** out of them for kicks. Seals were visible playing with their fins like frisbees. possibly the maximum beneficial issue to ever come from them.

    "Wow, you boost some suitable points right here, this fish surely is proof that God has abandoned us." sure, thank you. "however if they are so awful at literally the entirety, why haven't they gone extinct." brilliant question.

    because THIS issue IS SO nugatory IT DOESNT understand IT must not EXIST. it is so ignorant of literally ****ING the whole thing THAT IT DOESNT recognise THAT it's DOING maybe THE WORST ****ING process OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST process OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN every other CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE most EGGS OUT OF the whole lot. except some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. it'll LAY three hundred MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES due to the fact it might be STATISTICALLY implausible, DARE I SAY not possible, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE at the least ONE of those three hundred,000,000 (that is every time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING at the stop OF THE DAY.

    And this concludes why I hate the **** out of this entire failure of evolution, the sea Sunfish. If I ever see one, i'm able to throw rocks at it.

  • JUX Red [1180625]Red [1180625]
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    Posted on 11:09:54 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    nice copypasta R-

    sapnu puas

  • TBA T-Stark [2086654]T-Stark [2086654]
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    Posted on 11:10:06 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    *Applause* This is a great shitpost. R+

  • NUKE A_Mean_Person [1631303]A_Mean_Person [1631303]
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    Posted on 11:10:56 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    And this is related to torn how exactly?

  •   Seth_ [1970642]Seth_ [1970642]
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    Posted on 11:11:12 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    Red [1180625]

    nice copypasta R-

    Sue me 

  •   Seth_ [1970642]Seth_ [1970642]
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    Posted on 11:14:33 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    Red [1180625]

    nice copypasta R-

    Prove it or you bout to catch deez hands Mr L

  • SPCR Phil-I-P [2035498]Phil-I-P [2035498]
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    Posted on 11:19:10 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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  • TBA T-Stark [2086654]T-Stark [2086654]
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    Posted on 11:26:50 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    Wasn't this thread made by Nikorras?

  • PT PopadaPill [900338]PopadaPill [900338]
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    Posted on 11:41:08 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    { } { } { } { } { } { } { } { } { } * 3 1

  • Trader [2107014]Trader [2107014]
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    Posted on 11:49:49 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    Image result for who the fook is that guy meme

     

     

     

  • DKS Nightmare [1637448]Nightmare [1637448]
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    Posted on 11:53:35 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    To be fair they are champs at reproduction....

    If a female has the capability to shoot out 300million eggs and the dude strolls up and shoots his load to fertilize those 300million eggs....thats pretty impressive, even if it's the only impressive thing about the fish.

    Edit: kinda reminds me of how some rednecks reproduce actually.... like the movie Idiocracy 

    Last edited by Nightmare on 11:55:44 - 13/06/18

  • HELL NovaRift [378706]NovaRift [378706]
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    Posted on 11:53:49 - 13/06/18 (7 months ago)
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    https://brobible.com/life/article/facebook-rant-ocean-sunfish-molamola/

    go back to facebook

  • FLUX Bobnfrends [2051811]Bobnfrends [2051811]
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    Posted on 23:31:29 - 20/08/18 (5 months ago)
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    A_Mean_Person [1631303]

    And this is related to torn how exactly?

    not at all, which is why it is posted in the "non-related" section of the forums...