To the Fats of Torn. A Request for Enlightenment | Food & Cook…

To the Fats of Torn. A Request for Enlightenment

    • MrVeidt [3459553]
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    Thread created on 01:59:45 - 19/11/24 (5 months ago)
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    Last replied 14:58:38 - 28/01/25 (2 months ago)

    Fats of Torn, 

    O' noble, sturdy warriors and statesmen. I cry to thee for thy wisdom. 

    My winter-bulk has commenced months ago, and the cheat day draws near. 

    I seek recipes only known to those who take 10,000 steps over the course of a few years. I search for people who mix processed foods like a scorned chemist seeking revenge on a former colleague. If the recipe has not killed a member of your family. or is not named after the person who it killed-- I don't want shit to do with it. Take it back to your community college where it belongs. 

     

    I don't want to hear the names of a few lil Debbie snacks. You telling me about this recipe needs to be like you're confessing to shitting in your history teachers car to your local pastor. There needs to be a bit of shame in there, but mostly, I'm looking for pride. 

    Your secrets are safe with me. Don't worry about plopping the recipes or secrets in the forum replies. The common people will want these foods. They will think they are worthy or physically capable of handling them. As Zeus punished Prometheus for stealing and sharing the gift of fire, I call for a similar fate due to sharing the forbidden knowledge. 

    Share with me the recipes of your type-2 diabetic grandmother. What did your long-time trucking father chow down on before throwing the discards in the windows of passing cars? What order do you scream at the poor fast-food worker-- time and time again? 

    I seek only knowledge and have nothing to offer in turn but respect and reverence. Let my gains sing the praises of your knowledge. 

    • Dixie_Normis [3293754]
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    Posted on 20:08:50 - 19/11/24 (5 months ago)
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    Cheerios pan fried in butter and vanilla then tossed in cinnamon and sugar! 
    4eabf780-290a-4403-8407-8079734b177c-3293754.png

    • MrVeidt [3459553]
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    Posted on 15:35:56 - 21/11/24 (5 months ago)
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    Dixie_Normis [3293754]

    Cheerios pan fried in butter and vanilla then tossed in cinnamon and sugar! 
    4eabf780-290a-4403-8407-8079734b177c-3293754.png

    f**k YEAH!!!!!!

    • Turducken [3458796]
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    Posted on 02:18:09 - 06/01/25 (3 months ago)
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    Flourless chocolate cake 

     

    ¾ cup white sugar

     

    ½ cup water

     

    ¼ teaspoon salt

     

    18 (1 ounce) squares bittersweet chocolate

     

    1 cup unsalted butter

     

    6 large eggs

     

    Step 1:Gather all ingredients. Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Grease a 10-inch round cake pan; set aside.

     

    Step 2:Combine sugar, water, and salt in a small saucepan over medium heat. Stir until completely dissolved; set aside.

     

    Step 3:Melt bittersweet chocolate in a microwave-safe glass or ceramic bowl in 15-second intervals, stirring after each interval, 1 to 3 minutes. Pour chocolate into the bowl of an electric mixer.

     

    Step 4:Cut butter into pieces; beat butter, one piece at a time, into chocolate until combined.

     

    Step 5:Beat in hot sugar water. Slowly beat in eggs, one at a time.

     

    Step 6:Pour batter into the prepared cake pan.

     

    Step 7: Have a pan larger than the cake pan ready; put the cake pan in the larger pan and fill the larger pan with boiling water halfway up the sides of the cake pan.

     

    Step 8:Bake cake in the water bath in the preheated oven for 45 minutes. The center will still look wet. Place cake in the refrigerator until thoroughly chilled, 8 hours to overnight.

     

    Step9: To unmold, dip the bottom of the cake pan in hot water for 10 seconds and invert onto a serving plate.

     

    Try not to end up in a diabetic coma

    Last edited by Turducken on 02:31:49 - 06/01/25 (3 months ago)
    • Hannah_Lucia_DX [3063635]
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    Posted on 11:54:17 - 06/01/25 (3 months ago)
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    Turducken [3458796]

    Flourless chocolate cake 

     

    ¾ cup white sugar

     

    ½ cup water

     

    ¼ teaspoon salt

     

    18 (1 ounce) squares bittersweet chocolate

     

    1 cup unsalted butter

     

    6 large eggs

     

    Step 1:Gather all ingredients. Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Grease a 10-inch round cake pan; set aside.

     

    Step 2:Combine sugar, water, and salt in a small saucepan over medium heat. Stir until completely dissolved; set aside.

     

    Step 3:Melt bittersweet chocolate in a microwave-safe glass or ceramic bowl in 15-second intervals, stirring after each interval, 1 to 3 minutes. Pour chocolate into the bowl of an electric mixer.

     

    Step 4:Cut butter into pieces; beat butter, one piece at a time, into chocolate until combined.

     

    Step 5:Beat in hot sugar water. Slowly beat in eggs, one at a time.

     

    Step 6:Pour batter into the prepared cake pan.

     

    Step 7: Have a pan larger than the cake pan ready; put the cake pan in the larger pan and fill the larger pan with boiling water halfway up the sides of the cake pan.

     

    Step 8:Bake cake in the water bath in the preheated oven for 45 minutes. The center will still look wet. Place cake in the refrigerator until thoroughly chilled, 8 hours to overnight.

     

    Step9: To unmold, dip the bottom of the cake pan in hot water for 10 seconds and invert onto a serving plate.

     

    Try not to end up in a diabetic coma

    Why unmold when you can eat directly from the pan?

    • zombie4 [3460907]
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    Posted on 20:23:50 - 07/01/25 (3 months ago)
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    Chocolate Coca Cola Cake

     

    Ingredients For The Cake

     

    2 cups flour

    2 cups of sugar

    1/2 tsp salt

    1 tsp baking soda

    1 cup butter (2 sticks)

    1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

    1 cup coca-cola

    1/2 cup buttermilk

    2 eggs

    1 tsp vanilla extract

     

    Ingredients For The Frosting

     

    1/2 cup butter

    1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

    1/2 cup coca cola

    4 cups powdered sugar (1 lb box)

     

    Instructions For Cake

     

    Preheat oven to 350°F.

    1. Spray 9×13 pan with nonstick spray or use a nonstick dish.

    2. Combine flour, sugar, salt and baking soda in mixing bowl.

    3. In a small saucepan, heat the butter, cocoa, coke-cola, and buttermilk until boiling.

    4. Pour over the dry mixture and mix thoroughly.

    5. Add eggs and vanilla and mix well.

    6. Pour into prepared 9×13 pan.

    7. Bake for approximately 30 minutes. If a toothpick comes out clean the cake is done.

     

    Instructions For Frosting

     

    1. During the last 10 minutes of baking prepare the frosting.

    2. In a small saucepan, combine butter, cocoa, and coke-cola. Whisk together and heat till boiling.

    3. Remove from heat and slowly whisk in powdered sugar.

    4. Remove cake from oven and slowly pour warm frosting over warm cake. Allow cooling long enough for the frosting to set up before cutting.

     

    Serve (with vanilla ice cream is great).

     

    3_3460907.png

    • Tenebrius [3306634]
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    Posted on 06:20:11 - 08/01/25 (3 months ago)
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    ...

    .

    .

    .

    .

    1 tbsp butter

    Add 1 tbsp of butter

    Add the rest of the stick

    Toss a whole cake in there, any flavor works

    Violently through in an all American Apple Pie

    Salt Bae in a pinch of lavender sugar

    Enjoy with a shot of vodka

     

    • 1862 [3208715]
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    Posted on 14:58:38 - 28/01/25 (2 months ago)
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    Recovering fatty, try this:

    2 cups white sugar
    1/3 cup Light Karo syrup
    1/3 cup honey
    1 tsp. vanilla
    2 cups butter or margarine
    9 1/2 cups quick oats
    1 cup chopped nuts

    Cream all ingredients except oats/nuts. Then add oats/nuts and mix well. Spread into 2 greased cookie sheets about 1/2 inch thick Bake at 360 degrees for about 8 minutes. The mixture puffs up while baking. Roll it down with a rolling pin and bake again until golden brown (about 8 more minutes). Roll down again or it will crumble. Don't over bake. Cut while warm, leave in pans to cool.


    This is Hudson Bay Bread, it is very dense, averages about 600 calories per slice (think the size of a slice of white bread)
    It was meant to keep those who did canoe travel in the boundary waters fat and fueled. It will make you fat if you eat it on a daily basis.

    Enjoy!

    During times of conflict, be sure to use plenty of "you statements".

     

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