Fake E.T.'s are Really Demons!
  • PWN3 Fujiko [2018522]Fujiko [2018522]
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    Thread created on 14:36:25 - 18/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    Last replied 20:35:43 - 23/12/18 (1 month ago)

    While you first read this, the topic will seem about as dumb as a box of rocks, but should this ever happen to you, you'll be glad you know this shit.

    See, people these days are scared, thinking that we live in the end times or someshit. Nothing that I know of has opened the portal, so this is probably some sort of "testing the waters". If a fake E.T. tries to "abduct" you, ask for an exact figure on the speed of light, because human scientists don't even know that. Now that you've got it off guard,  tell it to unhand you at once, because Satan and his minions are bound by the blood of Jesus. Imitate Billy Graham, Bob Larson, someone like that as best as you know. Do that and it will try and argue a bit, but the probes and shit will stop immediately. Stick to your guns and they piss right off. Send it back to where its from. It knows its from Hell.

    Any other course of action could cause a person to have surprise buttsecks or worse. If you don't want to believe this now, feel free to laugh it off, but when your fight or flight response engages, and you're about to get probes, your mind will race and hopefully you remember this and it helps you.

    To be honest, demons don't generally try to rek you unless your soul ain't right. E.T.'s are probably not real, and if they were, they'd probably have better things to do than molest Earth. That's why 999 times out of 1000, its demons, not E.T.'s.

     

  • PT PopadaPill [900338]PopadaPill [900338]
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    Posted on 14:59:18 - 18/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    O shit

    Thanks for the soul save Fuj

    Last edited by PopadaPill on 15:01:20 - 18/12/18

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  • PT PopadaPill [900338]PopadaPill [900338]
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    Posted on 15:06:13 - 18/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    I managed 8mins

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  • HB1 MadHatter [486416]MadHatter [486416]
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    Posted on 00:24:54 - 19/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    Nobody knows what the **** a demon is

    Demon = "Divine intelligence replete with wisdom"

    Demons are the ancient gods. The petty a*****e spirits/poltergeists/general ethereal nuisances are just lesser entities. Demons likely won't waste their time with you.

    Edit: Cards on the table: I didn't watch the video. Sorry if this was all tongue-in-cheek and I missed the joke.

    Last edited by MadHatter on 00:26:39 - 19/12/18
  • PWN3 Fujiko [2018522]Fujiko [2018522]
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    Posted on 16:17:04 - 19/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    Hahaha, MadHatter, its a dire warning that if you get abducted by aliens you should try to banish them as you would any other demons. The video is the quintessential "Fire and Brimstone" Sermon.

    I leave it open to interpretation as to whether I'm joking or not, because I have more fun that way.

    You could probably give me a discussion, find out how I respond and try to figure it out. It might be fun, deducing whether I'm a Christian Fundamentalist, or a troll imitating one!

    Demons want you to erect idols to them and turn you from the Infinite Creator God.The ancients fell for these wicked deceptions, and worshipped them, but that does not make them "Gods" because end of the day, shock horror, they're still Satan's minions and will do all they can to tempt humanity into accepting Hell and relinquishing our souls to the Devil.

    Big or small, supernatural forces are either positive, divine forces that are granted by the Almighty himself, or they are from Satan and/or demons. I've to date been offered no substantial proof otherwise. Feel free to enlighten me.

     Prove me wrong. In every "alien abduction" scenario I can think of, the abductee is not talking to the so-called "E.T." about Jesus Christ the Crucifixion! If they did, they wouldn't have got probed like they did.

    Last edited by Fujiko on 16:18:15 - 19/12/18
  • HB1 MadHatter [486416]MadHatter [486416]
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    Posted on 23:56:33 - 19/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    Fujiko [2018522]

    Hahaha, MadHatter, its a dire warning that if you get abducted by aliens you should try to banish them as you would any other demons. The video is the quintessential "Fire and Brimstone" Sermon.

    I leave it open to interpretation as to whether I'm joking or not, because I have more fun that way.

    You could probably give me a discussion, find out how I respond and try to figure it out. It might be fun, deducing whether I'm a Christian Fundamentalist, or a troll imitating one!

    Demons want you to erect idols to them and turn you from the Infinite Creator God.The ancients fell for these wicked deceptions, and worshipped them, but that does not make them "Gods" because end of the day, shock horror, they're still Satan's minions and will do all they can to tempt humanity into accepting Hell and relinquishing our souls to the Devil.

    Big or small, supernatural forces are either positive, divine forces that are granted by the Almighty himself, or they are from Satan and/or demons. I've to date been offered no substantial proof otherwise. Feel free to enlighten me.

     Prove me wrong. In every "alien abduction" scenario I can think of, the abductee is not talking to the so-called "E.T." about Jesus Christ the Crucifixion! If they did, they wouldn't have got probed like they did.

    I don't banish demons. That would be rude. I simply thank them for their company and bid them adieu.

    Definitely watching the video now, though. Love me some f**king fire-n-brimstone. Yeehaw

    I'm leaning towards you not being a fundie lmao

    Dunno which demons you pray to, but my demons don't require any idols. I mean, I've got a statue of Baphomet, but that's mostly just 'cause I think it looks cool. Gotta have fun wit it, ya dig?

    So wait... is Jesus doing the probing? Because he don't know me like that. He can keep his dusty Nazarene paws off me, thank you very much.

  • PWN3 Fujiko [2018522]Fujiko [2018522]
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    Posted on 04:13:45 - 20/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    If you don't banish your demons, they will cling to you as a curse for the rest of your days! Only Jesus has the spiritual authority to cast them out in the Name of the Almighty.

    Satanic idols are cute? It is a symbol that becomes a focus. The Bphomet, the dragon, the fake E.T., these things have a sinister commonality: They all strive to wrest this planet from the grip of humanity, to condemn and enslave mankind. I don't see how that could be even remotely fun, unless you are one of "them".

    This is spiritual warfare! Jesus lived a life without sin, as did his mom. Unlike fake E.T.'s, Jesus will not probe you, but his glorious sacrifice of his own life in exchange for the debt of the sins of mankind. This is the most valuable gift that can be given, and all you have to do is accept it. Your soul is the most valuable thing you have, so why not take care of it? #YOLO

    This is how deep these things run through the history of the West.

  •   Hoch [1772040]Hoch [1772040]
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    Posted on 05:06:11 - 20/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    Not sure about the above, but as I age, and witness the world, I get a sense of why religions talk of evil and good forces.  Regardless of source, it exists as a force unto its own.

  • SPCR Judge_Doom [2140277]Judge_Doom [2140277]
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    Posted on 15:38:22 - 20/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    Fujiko [2018522]

    If you don't banish your demons, they will cling to you as a curse for the rest of your days! Only Jesus has the spiritual authority to cast them out in the Name of the Almighty.

    Satanic idols are cute? It is a symbol that becomes a focus. The Bphomet, the dragon, the fake E.T., these things have a sinister commonality: They all strive to wrest this planet from the grip of humanity, to condemn and enslave mankind. I don't see how that could be even remotely fun, unless you are one of "them".

    This is spiritual warfare! Jesus lived a life without sin, as did his mom. Unlike fake E.T.'s, Jesus will not probe you, but his glorious sacrifice of his own life in exchange for the debt of the sins of mankind. This is the most valuable gift that can be given, and all you have to do is accept it. Your soul is the most valuable thing you have, so why not take care of it? #YOLO

    This is how deep these things run through the history of the West.

     

    Soooo.....

  • PWN3 Fujiko [2018522]Fujiko [2018522]
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    Posted on 14:35:25 - 21/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    Close, judge Doom. The movie E.T. didn't abduct anyone, but in the sense of pictographs, yes, you are right on.

  • HB1 MadHatter [486416]MadHatter [486416]
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    Posted on 20:35:42 - 23/12/18 (1 month ago)
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    Fujiko [2018522]

    If you don't banish your demons, they will cling to you as a curse for the rest of your days! Only Jesus has the spiritual authority to cast them out in the Name of the Almighty.

    Satanic idols are cute? It is a symbol that becomes a focus. The Bphomet, the dragon, the fake E.T., these things have a sinister commonality: They all strive to wrest this planet from the grip of humanity, to condemn and enslave mankind. I don't see how that could be even remotely fun, unless you are one of "them".

    This is spiritual warfare! Jesus lived a life without sin, as did his mom. Unlike fake E.T.'s, Jesus will not probe you, but his glorious sacrifice of his own life in exchange for the debt of the sins of mankind. This is the most valuable gift that can be given, and all you have to do is accept it. Your soul is the most valuable thing you have, so why not take care of it? #YOLO

    This is how deep these things run through the history of the West.

    Well, shit. I already dedicated my soul to Satan so I'm SOL. Did a formal ritual and everything.

    Last edited by MadHatter on 20:35:55 - 23/12/18