Prologue of my story | Art & Literature | TORN
Prologue of my story
    • ChiroTama [2697508]
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    Thread created on 14:42:40 - 28/07/21 (2 years ago)
    Last replied 21:48:42 - 01/08/21 (2 years ago)
    Hey it,s a prologue of my ongoing story

    Beginning of All story
    In a site of a excavation that full of old man looking for treasure,there is one particularly young man at age 19,this is Charles a young archeologist,looking for what so called miracle,for years he dig the site,without founding anything,just an empty hope that keep him doing whatever he is doing,for 4 years he dig the site,one pyramid after another,searching every single inch of a tomb,but still founded nothing,the reason he did this is to forget his tragic past life,where no one loves him,no girls want to dance With him,no one wanted to be his friend,not even his parents barely bother with his life,all what he had done has result in nothing,untill one faithful day happen,when he found the pandora box ,the box that long tought was only a myth now stood upon his very front eyes,without thinking too much he brought back the box to his tent

    Following the night after he bring the box to his tent,he recall an event of his life,the time where he fall in love for the first time,a time to be rejoiced by every young,but for Charles it was dark and gloomy time,the one he thought a friend take the girl he love from him,in his very front eyes,undoubtfully that wad the moment that drive Charles to take the path that he went now,and suddenly the pandora box opened itself and from inside the box form a shape of a man,very charismatic and with physic of Atlas
    *im king Menez,the king that unite egypt under my rule,young man i have heard your misery and my it was awful what have you went through,you are looking for miracle,and here i stand in front of you* said king Menez
    Answering fast but still careful *what did it cost* said charles
    *Return the Pandora Box to Where it belong,and i will grant you a miracle* Answer King Menez,and he disappear into the box,and once again the box seal itself back to its former state
    • GhostFlare [2626229]
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    Posted on 21:48:42 - 01/08/21 (2 years ago)
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    Good job!

    I think the lore and idea of the story is really interesting. Your grammer and punctuation could use some work, but that's an easy part to improve. If you ever run out of ideas, or want to improve the quality of your writing, reading books usually helps.

    Notice the way the authors combine certain words to make you imagine the scenario. Inspiration can come from many places and things. What usually helps me is listening to music and trying to imagine random scenes with its lyrics. You can try other things, of course.

    Good luck!
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