Chapter 2:

"Where are we?" Sexydrug mused. "It's like some sort of brown-ish vortex." She felt her dress bunch up around her knees as the force that had sucked them in was pushing them along with their hair flailing all about and their limbs flapping uselessly.

"I don't know! It's like...one of those things!" DuchessFinery said, pointing at the ever-widening vortex that was threatening to suck in everything else nearby.

"Yeah...we should probably stop it," Sexydrug said. "We should try to fix the tea set too." She frowned. They both reached into their pockets and pulled out a couple of FHCs, but when they tried to touch the vortex with them, nothing happened.

"Why won't this work?" DuchessFinery wondered aloud. And then a very loud noise made its way over them and threatened to deafen them, or worse, tear their eardrums apart.

"What the hell was that?" Sexydrug exclaimed, and then a slimy brown hand came out of the vortex and wrapped around her ankle. She tried to get away, but she was stuck in place by what she thought was a tentacle that looked like it belonged on an octopus or something equally disgusting. The other end of said tentacle had Fastcar's arm attached to it, and she was yanking at Sexydrug with all her might while screaming. But Sexydrug wasn't going anywhere. She was stuck in the vortex and that tentacle thing was holding her otherwise she might have just gone right back to Earth and left both of her friends in the vortex.

"Give me your other hand!" DuchessFinery grabbed Fastcar's arm with both hands and began pulling for all she was worth, but when two people were tugging at one person who was attached to another person through a slimey portal, things weren't looking good for anyone involved. The screaming continued as they tried to pull Fastcar out of this realm of madness, but it looked like it would be a losing battle until...

"I can help you," said a voice from behind them. They spun around to see an old man standing nearby with a cane in his hand and white hair on top of his head. "That's what I'm here for." He tapped his cane on the ground twice before raising it into the air again, pointing at the vortex with one finger while looking up into the sky where he seemed to be pointing at something else entirely (but there was nothing there). When he brought his hand back down again, there were three large snakes coming out of the end of his cane and they wrapped themselves around the tentacle holding Fastcar.

The screaming stopped for a moment as Fastcar was freed, but then it started up again when she heard more noise. This time it sounded like more tentacles were coming out of the vortex and were wrapping themselves around her friends' ankles. The old man's snakes wrapped themselves faster this time, but there seemed to be no end in sight to these tentacles trying to suck them into this place that didn't belong here.

"This is not good," Sexydrug said, tugging at her own snakey-tentacle thing while DuchessFinery did the same with hers. "Fastcar! Help us!" But instead of helping them like she probably could have done because she was very strong and tall and had Hulk-like strength (not really), Fastcar stared at all of them with wide eyes before letting out a loud scream and running off in the opposite direction from where they'd come from, away from everything else that wasn't safe or sane or normal or whatever else people on Earth thought mattered when there were real problems that needed solving right now. So Sexydrug had no choice but to let go of her snakey tentacle thing thingy (it was too hard to explain and probably wasn't important anyway) and chase after Fastcar.

"Wait!!!!"

And so she did. DuchessFinery had no choice but to let go of her snakey tentacle thing as well, but that didn't stop her from following after them both and hoping that these snakes would be able to hold on until she caught up with them (and they did). The old man just stood there in the vortex for a moment before casually walking into it with his cane tapping on the ground twice, summoning more slippery snakes from his cane. They followed him because he was their leader and they trusted him enough not to shove a sword through their bodies if they made one wrong move. And then they were all sucked into this place where everything was brown and slimy and gross...but also kind of neat at the same time...?

Chapter 3:

"Why didn't you help us?" DuchessFinery asked, not looking at Fastcar as she continued to run.

"There was nothing I could do!" she yelled back at them. It wasn't like there were big waves of tentacles coming out of the vortex that needed assistance or anything and if there was anything to be done, she would have done it already without needing any encouragement from anyone else!

And now they were mad at her for something that wasn't even her fault but whatever. She couldn't help it if some old guy with a cane and snakes had decided to show up out of nowhere and decide he wanted to make things worse for everyone because that's what people did these days instead of helping make things better. They just made everything worse because they liked doing that instead of fixing things when they broke them in the first place (because why fix them when they can just go on hurting other people?). Oh well, more running for her!

DuchessFinery threw up her hands in frustration before chasing after Fastcar again. Sexydrug looked over at the old man who'd rescued them from certain doom with his awesome snakes (they really were awesome) before joining her walking comrade in trying to catch up with Fastcar who could probably see where she was going because this place didn't have any trees or buildings or anything in the way so how hard could it be? Not hard at all! And then maybe once they caught up with Fastcar, she'd explain herself and then maybe apologize for being such an asshole all the time even though no one ever saw fit to notice until right now...but still maybe it would work out okay anyway...? Maybe...?

Fastcar kept running until she thought there was a good enough distance between themselves and those two crazies who wouldn't die down long enough to let someone sleep in peace. That damn tea set had been driving her insane since morning (she was an early riser) and if those two hadn't showed up, she'd never have started screaming like some sort of crazy person which got both the neighbours here talking among themselves about who might end up killing whom first...and then talking about whose job it was around here to clean out their garbage bins every week (which always ended without agreement).

But right now she had bigger problems than tidying up some trash: namely making sure everybody knew exactly where they stood with each other so nothing like this would happen again ever again so why weren't those two getting on board already!? Even though Fastcar believed whole-heartedly that a full night's worth of rest is necessary for proper functioning during daylight hours, clearly neither one of them understood this concept entirely so something needed to change right away! And fast! Or else...

Chapter 4:

"What do you mean we're not friends anymore!?" Sexydrug demanded. They'd finally caught up with Fastcar and were now standing in front of her, staring daggers at the other woman while she tried to act like she didn't care that they were mad at her. She turned around and started walking away again. What do they want from her? It was obvious that there was nothing going on here between them so why couldn't they just go away and leave her alone already!? The only reason she had come out here in the first place (after escaping from those snakes) was because this looked like a nice, quiet place to have some alone time! It wasn't as if they could actually hurt her or anything...but maybe it would be better if she stayed away from them for a while anyway...just until things died down...?

DuchessFinery grabbed Fastcar's arm before she could walk off into the sunset. "Do you think we didn't try hard enough to save your life or something?"

"You can let go of me," Fastcar said with a sigh, looking down at DuchessFinery's hand until DuchessFinery loosened her grip (and then stomped on DuchessFinery's foot for good measure). "And no, I don't think you two tried hard enough." She frowned as she kicked some rocks in their direction which made them jump out of the way (because what fun is it kicking rocks when someone isn't standing there watching?) before continuing on toward whatever it was that she needed to get done today (which probably involved getting drunk off of some foul-smelling drink full of alcohol since that usually helped erase memories).

But then Sexydrug punched Fastcar right in the face before running back over to where DuchessFinery was standing with tears coming out of her eyes because why did everyone need to make everything so difficult all the time!? Why didn't anybody ever take responsibility for their actions!? Why couldn't people just be nice anymore!?

And then Sexydrug punched Fastcar again even though it felt really good punching someone who deserved punching very much but also felt really bad doing it so maybe maybe maybe...maybe...? Maybe later...? Or not? Because this one hurt like hell and why should anyone else have any fun either!? Not when everyone else needed help figuring things out instead!!1! ("1" meant sarcasm.)

Chapter 5:

"Why are you being so mean!?" DuchessFinery demanded, standing in front of Fastcar with her arms crossed and a frown on her face. She turned to look at Sexydrug who was wiping tears from her eyes with the back of one hand while clutching her injured foot with the other hand. "And why are you punching that woman?"

Sexydrug wiped some more tears off of her face before glaring at DuchessFinery. "Because she's being mean!" And then she punched Fastcar again just to show DuchessFinery how it felt like when someone else punched someone else and not because...well, maybe that wasn't exactly true but still!

What did they want from her!? What was so wrong with wanting to punch people who deserved it all the time!? Wasn't this what everyone wanted?

But apparently not. Some people had no sense of justice or anything around here anymore! It was like living in some kind of alternate universe where everything went horribly wrong all the time and everyone forgot what it meant to be happy and nice even for a little while! That stupid tea set had been tormenting Fastcar since morning (because she'd forgotten to put up curtains over those windows again) but now everybody wanted to yell at each other about something stupid?!

Why couldn't anyone see that there were bigger things that needed doing instead!? Like saving lives for example! Or getting drunk off of something really foul tasting? Maybe also getting rid of those snakes too...? Because if they would stay away from each other then they wouldn't always feel bad afterward when punching out their frustrations on someone else...or maybe...?

No, scratch that last idea because too much alcohol could be dangerous in an environment as hostile as this one...maybe next week then...? Or whenever these two calmed down enough for them to think straight again? Who knew?! Probably nobody knew because everything was just so complicated these days but if they didn't get moving soon, nothing here would ever make sense anyway which is better than nothing making sense anymore but still pretty bad either way~?

Chapter 6:

(They had been walking for a while, the girls on either side of Fastcar, who was still rubbing her sore cheek. It continued to ache and why were they attacking her anyway? She didn't do anything wrong! This stupid machine didn't want to come with them but she did try to stop it from eating their heads off! Why wasn't that enough?! Was she not allowed to be herself anymore!? Why couldn't these two just leave her alone already!? Because if they kept this up then...then...)

"You're being selfish!" DuchessFinery suddenly yelled at Fastcar which made everyone jump out of their skin.

"Why can't you see that we're trying to help you?" She pointed toward Sexydrug who had been busy walking next to Fastcar but then stopped because she was too busy watching DukeFinery and Fastcar argue over whether or not this was right or not (because who knew? And also what if those snakes came back again and ate them all up?) but now turned around so that she could yell something out at the top of her lungs too (because how dare someone yell at someone else without yelling back as hard as possible first!!1!).

"We thought we could trust you when we saw your ship fly into our planet's atmosphere and crash land here!!1 But look where it's gotten us!!"1 Sexydrug rolled her eyes at DuchessFinery before pointing a finger in Fastcar's direction again.

"And now I don't think any good will ever come of this trip~?!" And then both girls started yelling even louder than before which only confused Fastcar more (because what were they talking about? What was happening here?).

She looked down at the ground between herself and DukeFinery's feet instead, wondering why no one seemed willing to tell anyone how things stood anymore...and maybe just maybe this would sooner or later end with some kind of punch fight which sounded like fun except it probably wouldn't be since neither girl looked like an easy person to hit in the face because frowning like that is hard work after all~?)

Chapter 7:

"I'm not trying to be selfish!!!" Fastcar yelled back at DuchessFinery but not before kicking some dirt at her feet.

"I'm just...really tired of having everyone hate me all the time and I didn't want to go on this stupid trip anyway so get off my back!!"1 She crossed her arms and glared down at DukeFinery's shoes since she was now standing next to Fastcar with a stern expression on her face instead of frowning like before (because frowning is hard work after all).

"This is your fault for making me do stuff that I don't want to do in the first place!!"1

DuchessFinery rolled her eyes again while turning around so that she could glare up at Fastcar instead. "That isn't how it works you idiot!!!"

And then Sexydrug stood between the two girls with a worried look on her face which also looked kind of like a cross between an angry glare and someone who had just found out something really important but they were afraid they would never tell anyone about it because what if they were wrong? What if there was another explanation for everything? Must have been nice, right? Because maybe then people wouldn't get mad anymore when someone wasn't exactly being themselves all the time...and still did their best even when things got complicated~?)

"Girls..." She cleared her throat twice because this was probably going to be hard for everyone else too. "...let's calm down."

She said and then turned around so that she could stare back over both shoulders instead. "...it's okay, we're almost there." She pointed forward and frowned even harder than before while shaking one arm around in the air for emphasis because why weren't these girls listening?! Wasn't their lives worth saving already or what!? And also weren't these snakes dangerous?! Why couldn't anything ever be easy anymore~?)

Chapter 8:

"What do you mean 'we're almost there'?" Fastcar asked while looking up at Sexydrug with a confused expression on her face.

"I thought we were going to the nearest town for help." She said and then frowned even deeper than before (because frowning was so much easier now that it was the only thing she ever did).

"Why are we stopping here?" And then everyone looked at each other except DukeFinery because of course she still looked like she wanted to punch someone in the face as hard as possible already but not anymore, which is why both Fastcar and DuchessFinery watched her instead. They didn't have time for this!!1! What if those snakes came back again and ate them all up again?! Why did they have to keep standing around like this when they should be on their way to somewhere else??!?)

"DuchessFinery had always talked about having an old manor house in the middle of nowhere." Sexydrug explained while pointing toward one of the trees behind them which kind of made sense since it was certainly big enough for a small mansion~?.

"She's never been here though..." She said and pulled out some kind of map from inside her jacket pocket but wasn't holding onto anything these days (because carrying stuff can get pretty tiring after awhile~?) so just let it float above her head instead.

"...but I know where everything is supposed to be; right over there!" She pointed toward another tree behind them (which seemed a little less impressive than before now that everyone had seen how big the first one actually was~?)

Even though Fastcar still didn't understand what Sexydrug suddenly wanted them all to see over there, she could tell from DukeFinery's excited eyes that this would definitely be worth seeing just by itself~?)

Chapter 9:

"Are you sure this is the right place?" DukeFinery asked while walking toward Sexydrug with a smirk on her face and arms crossed over her chest. "I mean, we've been following your directions all day and it just doesn't seem like there's anything here." She pointed at the ground in front of her feet even though nothing was there but still~?)

"Okay, so maybe I've never actually seen this house before..." Sexydrug said while looking downward so that she could hide how disappointed she was from everyone else (because as much as they loved to see her happy they couldn't help feeling kind of sad for themselves too). "...but DuchessFinery always talked about it a lot whenever we were out drinking together."

She bit down on one side of her bottom lip with a nervous expression on her face and took a deep breath before continuing. "She said it had everything we could ever want...and then some!" And then Sexydrug turned around to point at another tree behind them. Or more accurately, the big shed which was attached to its trunk~?)

"So you're telling me that DuchessFinery has an entire shed full of stuff?" Fastcar asked with wide eyes since she seemed unable to believe what she just heard. Did people really do things like that? Just keep coming up with more and more stuff when they didn't have enough already!? And why would these two girls go out drinking in such strange places anyway?! Wasn't it illegal or something?! How did they even get away with that??!?) "But...why wasn't anyone worried about snakes?" Fastcar continued asking even though she knew better than to ask questions when no one else wanted them answered in the first place~?)

"Because there are supposed to be lots of bedrooms inside!" Sexydrug explained while pointing toward another tree behind them (which also happened to be bigger than any other trees in the area). This time however no one seemed very impressed by its size because after all, most trees can grow pretty large if given enough time~?)

"...so maybe if we look around long enough..." She let out a sigh because now wasn't exactly the best time for optimism either way but sometimes things might turn out okay somehow~?) "...we'll find those snakes again!" And then both girls started off toward their destination without waiting for anyone else so obviously DukeFinery ended up being left behind by herself again~?)

Chapter 10:

"At least we haven't seen any snakes yet!" DuchessFinery said while stopping next to a tree which had grown so big that she couldn't even see the top of it from where she was standing. "If they're anywhere, they'll probably be in one of these trees or somewhere back there." She pointed at the shed behind them (which seemed like it was going to fall over on its own if everyone kept walking around too close to it~?)

And then Sexydrug walked up next to her with a smile on her face but DukeFinery could tell that there was something missing from it and decided to ask about it before this became an actual problem~?)

"So let me get this straight..." She began asking while raising an eyebrow as if she had just remembered something very important. "You don't remember this place at all, you just know about things which are supposed to be inside?" DukeFinery asked while taking another glance around their surrounding area (because what else were they supposed to do?). It definitely wasn't the same anymore now that these two girls had been out here for so long...and why would anyone try living in such a strange place anyway? It's not like vampires could move around during daytime either...weren't they also considered monsters too? She still didn't understand how people were allowed to live out in the open like this without being killed right away~?)

"I mean...that's pretty much my only information." Sexydrug replied while hiding her worried expression from everyone else because really, what did she expect after saying stuff like that? To make everything better somehow??!?) "But I'm sure nothing bad will happen here!" She explained with a reassuring smile on her face even though everyone knew by now that those kinds of smiles never meant anything good...or bad for that matter~?)

Suddenly however both girls' eyes widened at once and their smiles disappeared instead as soon as someone came into view. He looked more or less like any other human being except he obviously wasn't since he suddenly appeared right out of thin air~?)