Why not let things work like RL? Allow spouses the ability to pay upkeep bills on homes and vault? I'm not a coder, but wouldn't that just as easily solve the problem?
You revived a post that is outdated. None of the issues that the OP brought up are an issue since the property upkeep changes. Both property owner and spouse can make payments on upkeep. And as far as I know, aside from happiness decreasing for a while after not paying upkeep, all debt stays on the property owner.