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Aurum

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Thread created on Sat Dec 14, 2013 03:40:17
Last replied to on Sat Dec 21, 2013 13:58:38
You snort one bump for each nostril of Ketamine.
You start to feel dizzy, so you lay down on the couch.
Everything starts to go black around you, the next thing you remember are the demons in white strapping you down on the bed, telling you its for your own safety.
You wake up in the hospital, feeling very weak.



Everything starts to go black around you, the next thing you remember are the demons in white strapping you down on the bed, telling you its for your own safety.


It should be it's instead of its as it's a contraction of "it is"

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Bloods
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Posted on Sun Dec 15, 2013 00:48:04
+R

Shouldn't the start be: You snort one bump of ketamine for each nostril

Also, demons = Demon's

Last Edited: Sun Dec 15, 2013 00:48:44
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Marc

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Posted on Mon Dec 16, 2013 00:33:41
Just to avoid confusion, "demons" is correct here.
"Demon's" is possessive, and it is not possible to own "in white" so that is not correct.

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bogie

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Posted on Mon Dec 16, 2013 00:35:01
By Marc [24377]
Just to avoid confusion, "demons" is correct here.
"Demon's" is possessive, and it is not possible to own "in white" so that is not correct.


What if they're the type of demons that possess you? I'll see myself out...

Last Edited: Mon Dec 16, 2013 00:35:19
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Aurum

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Posted on Tue Dec 17, 2013 03:30:24
By Bloods [1696973]
+R

Shouldn't the start be: You snort one bump of ketamine for each nostril

Also, demons = Demon's


I miscopied the first line

but yeah it should be

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Chedburn

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Posted on Sat Dec 21, 2013 13:58:38
Thanks.

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