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Forum Main>>Fun & Games>> Corrupt - A - Wish
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SophieluvzFahim
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Posted on Sat Oct 15, 2011 14:14:41
Granted, apparently you cant unless you have some kind of power or have ability to rewind the clock.

I wish for chocolate cake RIGHT NOW!

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TheDude3000

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Posted on Sat Oct 15, 2011 15:05:01
Granted ... but the chocolate turns out to have came out of someone else's asshole.

I wish for a pet dog.

[url=http://www.mindistortion.tv/iwantyoursoul/?i_am=Nate Silva]don't click this link...[/url]
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Tomo
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Posted on Sat Oct 15, 2011 15:20:13
Granted - but the pet dog you got died after 2 seconds of me granting it!

I wish for a trillion dollars!

Last Edited: Sat Oct 15, 2011 15:20:39
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We Are Recruiting.
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Daffy-
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Posted on Sat Oct 15, 2011 16:21:34
Granted but you had to send it to me as soon as you got it.

I wish I could learn a new language really quickly.

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TheDude3000

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Posted on Sat Oct 15, 2011 19:45:16
Granted, but the teacher turned out to be relying on google translator.

I wish to be the King of England.

[url=http://www.mindistortion.tv/iwantyoursoul/?i_am=Nate Silva]don't click this link...[/url]
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Shou
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Posted on Sat Oct 15, 2011 19:54:32
Granted, you also become a target for assassination due to the upcoming Revolution.

I wish to be infallible.

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Daffy-
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Posted on Sat Oct 15, 2011 20:06:18
Granted. You were only infallible at sleeping.
I wish I had rainbow veins.

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fugere
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Posted on Mon Nov 14, 2011 02:09:57
Granted! Years of furious lab work, toil, and experiment with no short of minor set backs and failures finally yield the machine of your Dreams! Feverish with excitement, you set your new machine at your bedside, lie down gently, and coax the syringe into your eagerly awaiting vein. The Lights go dark.


Three and a half days later.

You awake to hear the gentle chugging from your Deep Vein Rainbowsis Dialisis, as little multicoloured clouds spill forth from its brass chimney stack. Your walls are slick with the particles of rainbow ash and humidity the machine has belched fourth non stop for almost four days. Your sheets, floor, and all other surfaces of your tiny room are thick with the rainbow silt of your creation.

Weak with hunger and thurst, your legs atrophied from the long sleep, you slide off the slickened surface of your sheets, flopping into the murky puddle atop your carpet, now covered in the wallowing film of your endeavors. The oily slick makes it easier for you to slide across the floor towards your kitchen. In the half hour consumed by your slow but slickened slither to sustenance, your mind races at the prospect of unveiling your creation to the world.

Grabbing a kitchen chair by the leg, you hoist yourself up, landing half hunched over the table, but within reach of the refrigerator door, which you open and from the door shelf withdraw a gallon of your favourite chocolate milk.

Half collapsed on the kitchen table, giggling with excitement, you're giddy anticipation overwhelms you. You're formulating your plans for your video unveiling, and who first to call when you down your first mouthful of Chocolate milk.

God that's heavenly, you think. The cool chocolate milk cascading down your throat, already tempering both your thirst and hunger. You chug feverishly at the contents, downing the full jug in minutes.

A great sigh of satisfaction escapes your lips as a cool shiver envelopes your tingling body, and you drift off into a sated nap, exhausted by the spent energy of crawling through your rainbow slick to the bounty of your kitchen.


Your dreams, are far from Comforting.


The sounds of gargling and a cracking whip, tear through the air inside your dreams. A furious mountain of a man, cracking a slave driving whip through the air, gurgles in a mad and horrific rage, towering above you! You wake with a start, your knees buckling slightly beneath you.

"Holy Sweet Mother of Christ!" You yell, as you realise the sound of the cracking whip inside your dreams, in truth, is emitting from your enraged pooper. Thunderclaps of rainbow fecal matter explode from your body like the unfurled arsenal of a Care Bear Artillery, a three foot wide fountain of rainbow coloured wet bilge explodes from your body, tearing your pajamas from your body, and painting the walls and ceiling like a burst storm drain aflood with a hurricanes rage.

Earth shattering cramps bend you like a twig, your nose touching your ankles as your sickly volcanoe of a posterior purges it's unhallowed contents high into the air, across the ceiling, and down your kitchen walls.

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Falling to the ground in agony, still bent in half like a badly closing jacknife, your effluence rupturing from your body propels you from the room, skipping astride the oily slick of your creation, down the hall, smashing against your own front door.

Gasping for breath under the multi coloured tide of your bodies rejection, you press your mouth to the open doggy door you'd installed only last sunday for Twitter, your pug (Nowhere to be seen, but a faint wimperring appears to be coming from an undeterminate mass of pasty shivering sludge behind the Sofa). Gasping breaths of freash air, your own propulsion pressing you harder and harder against the doggy door while trickles of fickle rainbow sludge squeaze around your puckered face, and seep through the edges of the doors weak plastic confines. And there, you die. A spent and jerky-like husk of your former self, with your rainbow veins forever eclipsed, by your house of gastrointestinal horrors.





I wish for a new bike!

(edited for mis-spelling "pooper" and inserting polaroid)

Last Edited: Mon Nov 14, 2011 03:02:58
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Rookie

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Posted on Mon Nov 14, 2011 06:11:25
Granted!

And lucky for you Christmas is right around the corner. You have been hinting the idea of some sweet new wheels all year to your wife, and by the grace of god and Santa Clause, financially it is in your favor.

With a few months of anticipation, you cant wait; you clear a spot out in the garage. You quit dreaming about Dongs for a few weeks, and start dreaming about this new custom bike you will acquire. It has become an obsession. You start book marking accessories from the Sears catalog and naturally got yourself a 5yr subscription of Biker Babes.

Christmas morning you wake up early, there is fresh snow on the ground. This does not damper your spirits at all. You make little noises around the house to try and wake your wife. Your wife finally tells you to quit jumping on the bed and go make her some coffee.

She comes into the kitchen with something behind her back; its a small black box with a bow on it. You're smile is now gone, and you began to tear this is not a bike" you say to yourself as you open the tiny package. You are surprised to see a silver key. You look at your wife and she is pointing to the garage with a smile.

You quickly run outside to open the garage. The door seems like it is taking forever to open, but finally it does. This is it! The moment you have been waiting for... Sadly when you see your bike, you feel kind of disappointed, almost betrayed by the wife that knew you for many years. The dam thing didn't come with any training wheels...






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I wish for a new computer


No trees were harmed during the creation of this message. Its made from a blend of elephant tusk and dolphin meat.
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ZackMorris
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Posted on Mon Nov 14, 2011 07:02:53
Granted - You sent your Personal computer to Rookie with the message: Your Wish Came True!

I wish for any donations for my P.I. fund

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Johann

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Posted on Mon Nov 14, 2011 07:56:05
^ Doesn't understand how to play

Granted but then you get it mugged right off you.

I wish to be able to sleep well for a change

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Nyan
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Posted on Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:00:00
Granted but you fall into a deep sleep and never wake up again...

I wish for a new phone =.=

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fugere
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Posted on Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:18:34
Granted! On the 82nd floor of the almost completed Super Sky Scraper in your town, Maurie Abrahmovich, Shift Foreman (welder by trade), is working on connecting a couple spanners high above the city floor ("Gary, meet Paul. Paul, meet Gary. You two fellahs should get along just fine") when his cell phone rings. Fumbling for his phone, it slips from his fingers, falling between the two spanners:
"I got it!" yelled Paul, but he didn't.
"I got it!!" yelled Gary, but he didn't either.

and Down Down Down, plummeted Maurie's phone, towards the earth and certain destruction, until it was fortunately saved!

Saved by the barely hard outter core, and certainly juicy inner layers of your otherwise less than truly occupied noggin! The phone miraculously managed to wedge itself between the lobes of your brain, causing all kinds of problems, but NOT killing you.

Unfortunately for you, Maurie's ring tones are sound bites from The O'Reilly Factor.



I wish for a cantaloupe from the Serengeti

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Tigerrr
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Posted on Mon Nov 14, 2011 12:55:47
Granted - But instead of Serengeti you get Spaghetti.

I wish for more wishes.

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fugere
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Posted on Mon Nov 14, 2011 13:17:13
By Tigerrr [959362]
Granted - But instead of Serengeti you get Spaghetti.

I wish for more wishes.


Granted, but your wish loop undoes all the doing, and you're left with endless wishes never fulfilled. Ever.



I wish GayBadBoy and the Golden Days were born anew

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Rookie

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Posted on Mon Nov 14, 2011 21:17:32
Granted!

You're Family reunion is just around the corner. Your "special" cousin Frank is cumming and he is bringing the Photo albums.

I wish for phone with a Tazer App.

No trees were harmed during the creation of this message. Its made from a blend of elephant tusk and dolphin meat.
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Stewiee
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Posted on Mon Nov 14, 2011 21:42:23
Granted!

But you get electrocuted instead of your victim!

I wish I had a Neumane Tablet to get me out of hospital!

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Danny_

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Posted on Tue Nov 15, 2011 13:45:52
Granted, but 10 bounties keep you in anyway

I wish I could grow my hair in any style I want...

Meet my improved Private Island staff on my profile... ^^
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GrkManga49

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Posted on Tue Nov 15, 2011 19:29:48
Granted, but it has to be your pubic hair that you can style.

I wish for a man eating penguin to help me take over Chile.

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Danny_

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Posted on Tue Nov 15, 2011 22:07:34
Granted, but in order to not get eaten yourself you also turn into a penguin

I wish my girlfriend could change shape into who ever or what ever I want, at my discretion at any time...

Meet my improved Private Island staff on my profile... ^^
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XOR

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Posted on Tue Nov 15, 2011 22:19:10
Granted - but she always says "Chickita", constantly, in a manly voice, whenever you change her.



I wish I could make an incorruptible wish.

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x_insanity

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Posted on Tue Nov 15, 2011 22:30:27
Granted

After several moments you realize now that your wish will never be corrupted and loose all hope for the fun and fall into a deep pit of depression for the rest of your life.


I wish for a giant pancake


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XOR

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Posted on Tue Nov 15, 2011 22:32:44
Granted, but the chef used cyanide instead of flour

I wish I was a surgeon that many people want to use for their problems

Last Edited: Tue Nov 15, 2011 22:36:10
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GayBadBoy

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Posted on Wed Nov 16, 2011 01:29:10
Granted:
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Except the kinds of surgery you do end their problems COMPLETELY!

You get a reputation alright:

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I wish no one would ever find Waldo!


Last Edited: Wed Nov 16, 2011 01:34:16
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Daisy3

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Posted on Wed Nov 16, 2011 03:21:04
Waldo is in a secret, deep, dark place where no one will ever, ever find him. Unfortunately, you are there with him doomed to spend eternity with Waldo.

I wish I would get a raise at my job!

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Rookie

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Posted on Wed Nov 16, 2011 03:56:44
Granted!

After many many years of hard work and dedication, you get fed up with getting blown off by your boss. You show earlier one day before the he arrives and think to yourself "Today is the day the SOB is gonna kick in" You approach him before he reaches his office and demand that your needs be satisfied !

The semi retired boss looks a little puzzled, but has an open mind about it. About 15 minutes later, he calls you into his office, tells you that he has your raise for you, and to shut the door. After a few minutes or so, you are back at your desk with a box putting all you're belonging in it. I am guessing that you were not up to par on your job performance.

I wish for a stronger coffee.

No trees were harmed during the creation of this message. Its made from a blend of elephant tusk and dolphin meat.
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Franky

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Posted on Wed Nov 16, 2011 04:12:38
Granted, but after a while your stomach acid can't handle the copious amounts of coffee you end up drinking causing a distended bowel. You end up having to go for surgery. Unfortunately XOR is the attending doctor...

I wish I had a more comfortable chair to sit on

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RefleX_

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Posted on Wed Nov 16, 2011 04:23:47
goo.. sit on an imaginary chair!!!
its the best dude!!!!

i would like to have my girl friend with me right now!

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Franky

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Posted on Wed Nov 16, 2011 04:30:55
Granted. Unfortunately she ends up sitting on the same imaginary chair as you to cuddle. You both end up breaking a leg. XOR is the attending doctor...

I wish I hadn't forgotten my lunch at home.

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fugere
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Posted on Wed Nov 16, 2011 04:44:23
Granted, you forgot it on the bus!

I wish I hadn't lost Wilson. WILLLLLLLLLLSONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

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Forum Main>>Fun & Games>> Corrupt - A - Wish
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